Gene Therapy

Maria was in the infirmary again. It was the fourth time that month. As soon as Shadow heard those words he shrunk, his body coiling up in anticipation of what was to come.

The next several hours were grueling. Gerald barely spoke to Shadow, rarely answering his questions. It seemed that the more times the treatments failed, the more Gerald blamed him. It was the cold steel of the examination table. The sting of needles, injections given that Shadow didn’t know what they were for. Blood draws and imaging, Gerald even wondered out loud if syphoning from Shadow’s adrenal gland would be useful to him.

Shadow was on that examination table far longer than it would have comfortable for anyone. He sat there surrounded by chalk boards that all wrote of his unusual biology, questions and theories that Gerald was willing to test. What limits was he willing to push Shadow too?

He told himself once again why he agreed to it every time, it was for Maria. It would be all worth it to see her get to go home and enjoy the earth she loved so much, and the family she held so dear.

“Could you at least tell me what your strategy is this time, professor?” Shadow made another attempt at conversation.

Gerald’s eyes peered out from behind those all too thick glasses, his expression daring Shadow to speak again.

Shadow pulled his shoulders back, “I figured you valued my intellectual input. I am more than just a body.”

“That is true, Shadow, but I don’t require your input.” His tone was sharp, as if he was offended by Shadow’s query, “What I need from you is on a cellular level. If I can get a specific immune response from your blood cells, I could reconstruct the DNA chains and transplant them into Maria’s bone marrow.  Your regenerative abilities make for the perfect template.”

“I get that, but wouldn’t you think that…” Shadow interjected, feeling his skin crawl.

“I said, I don’t need your input.” Gerald’s eyes hid behind those glasses. And Shadow’s soul fell behind thick steel walls. Why did he even try? The powerlessness was all consuming. An abyss that ate any will that he had left. He closed his eyes and only focused on his bodily sensations. His heartbeat, the air in his lungs, the blood that pushed through his veins. These sensations were all he was worth.

Gerald finished his work and sent Shadow on his way. The darkened hybrid sulked through the halls. Any glass that reflected him, he looked away from. He didn’t even give a thought to where he was going, or why, it was all automatic. His body made the choice for him.

When he arose from his stupor he found himself at the infirmary. He floated through the sterile hallways and nodded at the nurse behind the main desk, only to receive a cold glance in return. But it was when he entered her room that the sun shown for him.

Maria lay in that stiff bed, with the head of it lifted and oxygen in her nose. Her blue eyes lit up when she saw Shadow. It was like his presence gave her life. 

“Shadow.” She smiled, behind deep rings of exhaustion around her ocean blues.

“How are you holding up?” He gave her a weak smile in return. Shadow drifted to her side and held her. She rested her weary head on his chest and snuggled into the soft fluff of his chest.

Maria dodged the question, instead peering back up at Shadow in his embrace, “Were you working with grandfather again?”

Shadow sighed and ran his fingers through her golden hair. She smelled like lavender. “Yes, I was,” He answered her.

“You always look so sad.” Maria pulled away to look at him directly. Shadow’s eyes drifted over to her bed sheets. He wished so bad that he could deny how he felt. Maria would just see right through.

“Does grandfather hurt you?” She asked, a twinge of pain behind those sweet innocent eyes.

How would Shadow answer this question? He looked at those hopeful eyes and knew he had to explain everything in a way that kept that hope afloat.

“It hurts sometimes, but it’s necessary. You’re grandfather and I are doing everything in our power to get you healthy so you can go home.”

He pulled her back in and kissed the top of her head. In a sea of rejection, pain and isolation, she was his life preserver. He could bask in her warmth forever. At least in someone’s eyes he meant something.

…

            Patient log, Date: May 31, 2025

            Physician: Dr. Miles Prower

            Patient Name: Shadow the Hedgehog

            Summary: Patient was admitted to our hospital on May 28 at 10:20 a.m. He complained of a severe migraine. Patient’s initial vitals were elevated.

            B/P- 156/98

            HR- 122 bpm

All other vitals were stable. Upon admission, the patient experienced absence seizures. He was administered Toradol and Keppra to stabilize condition.

Shadow, while reluctant, agreed to a variety of testing, including MRI, CT, blood work. It was then decided that the best course of action was to perform a brain needle biopsy. He agreed to the procedure and took far longer to heal from the surgery than his biology should have. He was discharged from the hospital at 12:30 on May 31, with no scarring from the procedure. 

Between Dr. Crimson and I, we found that the results were worse than we had hoped. Dr. Crimson tends to be a bit more ego driven, and I picked her to work alongside me because I know how good she is at her job. But even she is struggling to figure this out.

I know I am supposed to have a professional tone to these, but this is eating me alive to have to bear through. Sonic and Shadow need me, they need all of us and I worry that I won’t be able to provide them with the care they need right now.

I suppose this is why friends shouldn’t be doctors.

Shadow’s mind is deteriorating. Nothing is certain. And I sure as hell, can’t offer any promises. I guess we just need to push forward and see what happens. Shadow has agreed to gene therapy, and I plan to put every ounce of effort into making this work. I have a genetics team being called together to discuss how we are going to approach Shadow’s unique genetic structure. Let’s hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

If anything happens, I hope Sonic can forgive me.

…

The hardest part was watching Shadow hold the kids after that. He was always so loving to them but the way he pulled them close, there was a desperation to it. His eyes were so sad, but his face was so bright, like the butter yellow of that dragon’s eyes on that story book.

He kissed Maria’s cheeks, and tousled Zephyr’s quills. And I stood there watching, running my fingers along the cracks forming in my heart. Amy’s pink caught my attention, and I looked at her. She stood beside me, and with Jade cradled in one arm she reached up and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I take it the news wasn’t good?”

I shook my head and swallowed down the lump in my chest. “The best they can offer is gene therapy. Tails even said that it wasn’t certain it would work. All he could promise was buying us time.” Looking away, I scrunched my face and let go of the thoughts I wanted to trap inside, “Why do I feel so numb, Ames? I just, I don’t know how to feel. I want to believe that we will find a cure but what if…  I shouldn’t think like that.”

“It’s a lot to process. It’s going to be a lot for everyone. All we can do is take it one day at a time. I’ll be here for you guys as much as you need me too.” Amy’s smile was so reassuring, but even her soft green eyes held distant rain clouds.

“Thanks.” I gave her a half smile.

“You just focus on taking care of him, and don’t forget to take care of yourself.” Amy let her hand run down my back before returning to doting to Jade. When I looked back, Shadow was curled up on the couch with the kiddos. He smiled at me with half closed eyes and beckoned me to join. I picked the corner of the couch that looked out to the window. The bright summer sun radiated into the room casting rays of much needed comfort. That comfort grew exponentially as Shadow crawled over and rested his head on my chest. Maria and Zeph curled up with us for only a few minutes before the wiggles got the best of them and they ran off. Amy planted herself in the rocking chair and rocked with Jade. How is it that in this sorrow, the air tasted just a bit sweeter?

“I’m sorry I freaked out on you.” Shadow mumbled into my chest fur.

“All of this is so scary. I don’t hold any of it against you.” I ran my fingers through his quills. I had put my gloves on that morning. Shadow never did. As my fingers threaded through those quills, those gloves became a symbol of separation. I ripped them off and tossed them over my shoulder. And for what felt like the first time, I savored how he felt in my hands. I let my fingers trace his cheek and brushed them behind his eye. If we could stay in this moment forever, if only.

Shadow fell asleep and I carried him to bed. I even tucked him in. He had just the faintest smile in his sleep, sinking into the comfort of the familiar covers. I gave him one last kiss and returned to the family. Spending time with everyone would give me a much-needed reprieve from fighting off those depressing thoughts.

...

I woke up to an empty bed and the smell of frying grease. I pulled myself out of bed and as I stepped through the house I was met with the melodies of acoustic guitars and gentle rhythms. The source of the music, a small round black speaker that sat beside Shadow on the counter while he hovering over the stove. Stacks of pancakes sat on the kitchen table, with that sweet scent of Shadow’s banana recipe. And a plate of ham slices sat in the middle of the table. My mouth watered at the sight.

“Aww, you really didn’t have to make breakfast Shads.” I got behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.  

“Not smart, Sonic. I’m frying sausage, one wrong move and one of us is losing fur.” He teased.

I nuzzled and kissed the crook of his neck, “I just wanted to give you some thank you lovin’.”  I pulled away and took in the aroma of the delicious breakfast buffet. “Damn, I love your banana pancakes. The kids must still be asleep, I can go wake them.” I was on my way over to the hallway when Shadow stopped me.

“Sonic?” His voice was heavy and flat. I looked to him and struggled to take the next breath as he dropped what he was doing, “We need to tell them.”

I winced, “All they need to know is that you are going to be doing treatment and you’re going to get better.”

“And what if I don’t? They deserve to know.” He looked back at me, his eyes wracked with pain.

“Shadow.. please. Let’s not do this. Can we just enjoy this morning like we always do?” I pleaded with him.

Shadow slumped his shoulders and looked away from me. His eyes read the cream color linoleum floor as if it had his own thoughts written across it.

“Daddy Sonic?” Maria’s sleepy voice came from the hallway, “Is it breakfast time?”

She rubbed her little eyes and wandered into the kitchen, in her peach toned night gown.

I blinked back the tears that creeped up, “Hey, sweety. Daddy Shadow made banana pancakes.”

She blinked those pretty red eyes and smiled. I had to choak back my emotions. She was so sweet and innocent, such a fragile age to be. If only innocents could last.

I rested my hands on my knees to get eye level with her. “How about you go wake everyone up and let them know that breakfast is ready?”

Maria bounced with excitement and twirled around to run down the hallway. The first room she went to was Zephs.

“I’ll let it drop, for now, but we can’t keep secrets from them. I know this is difficult.” Shadow returned to our conversation.

“Says you. You are nothing but secrets and half-truths.” He was grinding under my skin. I sat down at the table, hoping that I could just take my mind off of it. The smell of the pancakes and ham grounded me, as I took an empty plate off the table and piled food on it.

“I had good reasons. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. You know how I feel about you seeing me hurt like that.” He grumbled and dumped sausage onto the plate of ham.   

“And look where that got you.” I drown my plate in syrup, watching the thick molasses drip over the edges of my stack of seven pancakes.  

“I shouldn’t have been a big deal.” Shadow laid his ears flat, “You said you wanted us to enjoy breakfast. Digging into me is not helping.”

The pancakes suddenly looked less appetizing.

A few moments later Amy and Zeph joined us, then Maria waltzed in with an armful of stuffies. I grumbled, “You’re going to get them covered in syrup.”

Maria lined them up and the kitchen table one by one, “They are hungry, and Jeffy wants pancakes.” She pointed to her mouse in a bowtie.

Shaking my head I returned to my breakfast. “I’ll finish eating and go get Jade up. I’m surprised she didn’t wake me up last night.”

“That’s ‘cause I was up all night with her,” Amy said groggily. She sat down at the table beside me. I envied her fuzzy white robe. It looked like she was wearing a cloud.

Shadow joined us at the table. Every seat was full, and the sense of family chased out the tense undertones. The music still played on the speaker, and it lingered in the warmth of the kitchen. It was the thread that tied the tapestry of the moment together.

“I was wondering,” Shadow said between bites of pancake and looked over to Amy, “Being as we don’t know what the future looks like, I wanted to know if you would be willing to move in with us.”

My skin burned. Shadow seemed so comfortable talking about all of this, so comfortable with the situation. I was barely holding it together.

“I was actually thinking about that last night. I mean, I practically already live with you guy’s already.” Amy sipped on a glass of orange juice and Zephyr climbed over the table to help himself to more pancakes. His tiny fingers grabbed onto one of them.

“Zeph, ask. We will get you more pancakes if you want them.” Amy scolded, “I don’t want your fingers all over the food.”

“We really appreciate all the help.” Shadow added, “I hope it’s not too much to ask of you.”

“It really isn’t. I even told Sonic yesterday that I’m willing to help out wherever you guys need me to. I can just pack up the minimum and make myself at home here.”

The more I thought about their conversation, the more I thought about all of the change and uncertainty, and the more I thought about the uncertainty the more I ached inside. I slid myself away from the table, my breakfast only half eaten. “I’m going to go get Jade dressed for the day.”

“I was planning on visiting the memorial garden in a bit, I wasn’t sure if you would like to pack the kids up and we could all go.” Shadow said behind his cup of coffee.

“Nah, you guys go. I think I just need some time alone.” I sighed as I got up.   

“Sonic, the last thing you need to do be doing right now is isolating.” Shadow’s eyes tightened with concern. “I know you well enough. You don’t do well when you're alone like that.”

I took a deep breath, “I’ll be fine. I just need space to think is all.”

My mind fell behind a haze, and I went through the motions of dressing Jade and making sure her diaper bag was packed. Once Amy was dressed for the day, she found me in the nursery. I was changing her diaper for the second time since I got her out of her crib.

“I can finish getting her ready.” Amy sat down on the floor beside me. Her red dress crumpled around her in wavy patterns, making her look like a rose. I had Jade laying on her pink bunny blanket. She was wiggling out of my hands and trying to roll over.

“I got everything together already. All she needs left is her formula from the kitchen. I don’t know how long you guys plan to be out.” I sighed.

Amy tilted her head down to try to catch my eyes. I looked at her for a moment and returned to gazing at Jade, who was now halfway on her side.

“Don’t be afraid to talk to me. You know I’m here for all of you.” Her voice was so smooth and sweet.

My eyes shot up to the door, and I breathed a sigh seeing that it was shut. “I don’t want to just dump my emotions on you. I’m sure this has you hurting too.”

“Not as much as you. He’s your husband, you have every right to be struggling.” Amy swept up Jade and cradled her close. I met her green eyes and shattered into tears.

“How can he be so calm about this?” I burst, “Tails thought telling me ‘he’s complicated’ was enough to help me understand. I don’t understand. Why do I feel like he’s already left me?”

Amy’s eyes shimmered, “I wish I had answers for you.”

“This isn’t helping, I just need to be alone.” I wiped the tears off my face and got up. As I walked out the door I stopped to look back over my shoulder, “You guys enjoy the garden.”

Amy returned such a sad yet simple smile. She was a fae in the glow of sunlight, sparkling in the dust motes that circled around her, and Jade fit perfectly in her arms.

Once again in our room, I lost myself in those bedcovers and housed myself in them. I convinced myself that it was only the heavy, plush blankets that understood my pain.

…

Voices pulled me back to the waking world. A dash of red grabbed my attention. On the pillow beside me lay a single, vibrant, red rose. It was small and thick with peddles, not the kind of rose you would just get at the store. It was raw and real and elegant all the same. And all down the rose was a string of jagged leaves. A rose, imperfect and beautiful, much like my Shadow.

A note sat under the rose. I smelled the flower; its subtle floral scent and I pulled the note from underneath to read it.

On one side, wrote the date, June 1^st

            On the other, it read, I love you because you drive me nuts.

It was so bittersweet. I held that note to my chest and soaked in the love that it held. I had a feeling this was only the first of a lot more notes. After I got my fill, I dug through our closet. Somewhere in the mess I would find an empty shoe box, one that was blue and striped. It wasn’t anything special, but as I put the note in the box, I imagined it full. Never had I felt a pain that brought with it pleasure before. I felt like looking at that shoe box on my bed with the one lonesome note, I was looking at a treasure chest, one that would never loose its value.

I dared not think of the implications behind that. I picked up the rose and pinched it between my bare fingers. The sting of the small thorns provided just the slightest of distraction.

Then it was the sound of those voices again that drew me out of the room. The living room was full.

Shadow sat in the rocking chair and Rouge sat beside him on the couch. Their hands clasped together. Knuckles sat beside her, his arm around her waist. Amy sat with Jade on the floor, letting her practice rolling. Even Tails was there, not as a doctor, but as a friend. The house filled with the sound of children playing and bickering. From the voices coming from Maria’s bedroom, I could tell Ruby and Arrow were there.

It all felt so surreal. It was like I couldn’t feel my body anymore and my heartbeat was just a bit too slow. No one took notice of me. I was a ghost watching this exchange among friends.

“You’re going to be no use to me, if you’re like this.” Rouge gave an uneasy smile to Shadow.

Shadow returned a wry grin as he slumped back in the chair, “Maybe I will find a way to enjoy being useless.”

“This is bullshit.” There was pain in her voice. Knuckles rubbed her back, and she eased into his comfort.

“Let’s give it some time, maybe the treatment will work.” His eyes looked so worn.

“If they don’t, I’m going to make a scene at your funeral.” She pulled away and crossed her arms. It was a depressing attempt at a joke.

“Please don’t,” Shadow groaned and rolled his eyes. I caught his attention, and he lit up, bright face, tired eyes, “Hey, babe, did you find your note?”

“Yeah,” the acknowledgement returned me to my body. I showed him the rose still between my fingers.

“You’re getting one every day for as long as there are roses in the garden.” His smile grew brighter. And so did mine. I could squeeze every ounce out of this tenderness. For the time being, I simply basked in the moment.

…

We visited for a few hours. Admittedly, I typically lord over the conversation, but that night I kept to myself. Everyone looked at me with that deep, sad, empathy, but I let it bounce off my skin. I didn’t want to be seen, not like this. But hiding didn’t help either. The only comfort I found was the solace I built in my mind. A place where this wasn’t a big deal. That the treatments would work, and we just had to wait through it. It was a home in my mind that blocked out the brambles that scratched at its walls. I would hide there and try my best to ignore them. Every time I looked at Shadow, I took in what he meant to me. My love, my rock, the only one that could ever keep up with me. I remembered our honeymoon. I’m not sure how long we were gone, possibly three-four months. We traveled the whole earth together, no plane, no jet, no boat, just us running at the speed of sound. We kissed on the tip of the Eiffel Tower and we raced down the Great Wall of China. Shadow wanted to explore the Pyramids of Giza, that freaked me out a bit. We weren’t even supposed to be in there, I’m surprised we never got caught.  The wildest thing I think we did was have sex in the Amazon Jungle. Try getting it on surrounded by some of the deadliest creatures to exist. That’s what always drove our relationship, our shared love of adventure, thrill, and adrenaline. I don’t think I ever felt more alive than when we were taking on the world together, just him and I.

The memory dissipated and I returned to the moment. My Shadow was tired and resigned, that flame in his eyes was more of a flicker. I questioned if I could bring it back to the roar it once was.  

We said our goodbyes to our guests. I never received hugs that tight before. Dinner was a casserole that Rouge had left for us. Amy helped me bathe the kids and get them to bed while Shadow turned in early.

Once the house was quiet and dark, I thought about the shrine in our backyard. I couldn’t remember the last time I went and prayed. If anytime was a time to pray it was then. I swallowed my pride and looked over the sleeping family one last time before I went out to the garden. Shadow, drooling in his sleep. Zephyr, already halfway out of bed, sawing logs. Maria, tucked in tightly with her favorite stuffie, Jeffy. Jade swaddled under her mobile, plastic Chaos Emeralds hung from it, twinkling in the dim of the nightlight. All was sound, and the melancholy set in.

There was a drawer in the kitchen where I kept the matches and incense. I gathered them and felt unworthy of the practice.  

I stepped out the kitchen’s back door and settled into the humid air, the sun just set and the sky still glowed. The garden looked so lonely. Shadow took better care of it than I did. The peonies were just about to bloom, and the lilies were withering away, leaving behind just their green leaves. Cosmos, lavenders and irises scattered throughout, all forming into one circular garden plot. And in the middle was a stone path that led to the center. Every step down that path brought with it just the faintest of guilt and shame. Did Chaos and Gaia care that it had been so long since I communed with them? Would they judge me for coming to them now when I needed something? Would they listen to me? I brushed those worries off and told myself it didn’t matter. What I needed from them mattered more.

A wooden altar set on a slab of masonry. It had a pointed roof to keep out the rain and it was shaped like a house with one open side. Inside it had two shelves.

One held a bag of gold rings, and a token emblem of a Chaos Emerald. On the second shelf was two candles and between them a dish for burning incense. I sat down in front of it and stilled my nerves. Now was the time to cut down any ego I had left and come before them with my most humbled self.

Marked inside and on top of the altar was the symbol of the divine, the emerald encircled by a simplified Ouroboros. On one candle was carved the emerald and on the other was the Ouroboros.

I picked up the bag of rings and grabbed one, an offering, representing a fraction of myself. I placed it on the incense plate and sat the incense cone in the center. Then I held out the matches.

“Chaos, Gaia, I welcome you.” I struck the match

I lit the emerald candle, “I welcome you Chaos, in my most humble form.”

I lit the Ouroboros candle, “I welcome you Gaia, in my most humble form.”

“Take this offering and listen to my prayer.” I lit the incense.

The veil was fully lifted, the offering was accepted, and the ring vanished within the smoke of the incense.

My heart clawed at the insides of my chest, “I don’t as much of you. Usually, I can handle myself. I have been honored and grateful that you have deemed me worthy of wielding the emeralds’ full power. But this is so much more than me. And maybe it’s not my place to ask you this. But please, I beg you, don’t take Shadow from me. I love him. He means so much to me and I don’t know if I can… I can’t lose him to this. I can’t just see him suffer like this. And it’s not just for me but for our kids. What if… what if he doesn’t get to see them grow up?” I choked on my tears. It was too painful to think about.

“Just please, don’t take Shadow from me.”

The incense burned out. Chaos and Gaia were no longer listening.

I wiped the few stray tears away and sunk into the melancholy. I had no clear answer from them, and why would I expect them to give me one? The wind blew and tossed my quills, the trees rustled and the scent of flowers filled my lungs.

“Thanks for listening, I trust in your judgment.” I snuffed each of the candles between my gloved fingers.

Nature, it’s what grounds and connects us all. And yet I never felt so alone.  

I laid on the stone and took in the encroaching night. What did any of this mean? Was there meaning to it? Shadow always turned his nose up at finding meaning in the chaos. “Chaos doesn’t care about us,” he would always say. I was starting to wonder if he was right.

“Praying?” Amy’s voice jolted me out of my meditation.

“Hey, Ames, I thought you were asleep.” I looked up at her. Her pink quills fell around her face as she stared at me.

“You know, I think it would be good for you and the family to come to Fellowship. I know you guys stopped coming a few years ago, but with everything, it couldn’t hurt.” She sat down beside me.  

I got up and sat with her, “We stopped coming because the leadership are a bunch of snobs.”

“I know they aren’t perfect, but I at least want you to give them another chance. Pastor Bramwell is one of the kindest people I know. And you know how important community is at a time like this. We could put in a request for prayer and maybe together we could bend the ear of Chaos.” She gave me a half smile. The breeze brushed the quills out of her face as she leaned down on one hand.

“I don’t think Shadow would be comfortable with that.” I slouched.

“This is his life we are talking about. I know you would do anything for him and your kids. Getting the congregation involved would, if nothing else, bring you all some comfort. And on the plus side, the kids could really use this as a way to build their spiritual growth.” Amy’s eyes were a gentle glow in contrast to the night. The moon shown past the billow of clouds and revealed its crescent shape. The stone underneath us turned white and the plants turned into shadows.

“I would be up for going, it’s just the problem of getting Shadow out of the house.” I scratched behind my ear. I felt so haunted by the atmosphere. Amy was asking me to take Shadow back to the religion that shunned him. I remembered how angry he was. I didn’t understand at first but after a few more visits without him, I started seeing what he was seeing.

Amy had struck a nerve with me. This was Shadow’s life we were talking about. If we could amplify our voices, maybe Chaos would answer.

“Let me talk to him. I think I can have him convinced. They are having a potluck that day as well. I was planning on making pasta salad.”   Her smile turned cheeky.

“I think that alone could convince him.” I returned her smile.

That conversation felt good to my weary soul. It was like Amy had drawn back the curtains and let the light of hope in. Fellowship would be good for us and I was excited to give it a go.

 

…

            June 2^nd I love you because you are an amazing father to our kids

            June 3^rd I love you because you are the only person that could ever keep up with me

            June 4^th I love you because you make me laugh

            June 5^th I love you because you smell like summer even in the dead of winter

            June 6^th I love you because you listen to me

            June 7^th I love you because your optimism is infectious, even for me

 

The sun poured into our window and cast a warm blanket over top of Shadow and me in our bed. His fur and quills faded in the glow, turning charcoal grey. I smiled behind sleepy eyes and reached over to kiss his cheek.  

“What?” He mumbled.

“We are going to Fellowship this morning, remember.” I whispered to him.

Shadow rolled over and laid flat on his back, “You are really insistent I go, aren't you?”

“I really think that getting out there and getting some spiritual support could help us. We could use every bit of it we can get.” I sat up and soaked in that early summer mood, “I think if we get the congregation in prayer, Chaos might turn things around for us.”

“Please don’t tell them about this. I get that you want me to get better, but I just rather not deal with it.” He rubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes, “Damn it, I can’t get my eyes to focus.”

My gut unsettled, “Just give it a chance. It kills me to see you like this. We have to do something.”

Shadow blinked at the ceiling for a while and then gave up, “I’m already going to be doing the gene treatments. Dr. Prower said that he would have the first one ready tomorrow. I swear, if I am going to need glasses, I’m going to make someone suffer for it.” He growled.

He then turned his head to me, he blinked a few more times and rubbed his eyes once more, “Fuck, I can’t see shit.”

My skin burned and I sank inside myself, “How bad is it?”

“It’s all shapes. I can make out what I am seeing but I can’t see any details.” He pulled the covers up and hid, just barely poking his head out, “Go without me. I can’t do this today.”

I exhaled and sat up on the side of the bed, “I’m going to tell you what you told me, isolating is the last thing you need to be doing right now.”

“The difference is, I can handler isolation, you can’t.” He grumbled.

I bowed my head in frustration, “Why do you have to be so difficult?”

“Why do you have to be so pushy?” He huffed.

“Because I care about you. I want you to care too. It really doesn’t feel like you do.” I got up and started sifting through the closet for something nice to wear. The formal dress code wasn’t something I cared for, but it was a sign of respect, and I wasn’t about to be a sore thumb. Especially not when everyone expects a level of decorum out of me for my reputation.

“I do care.” He rolled out of bed, “How the hell am I supposed to do anything like this?”

“Maybe we can get a quick check up in before Fellowship and you can get some contacts.”

Shadow sneered at me with the meanest look he could give. “I meant it when I said some one has to suffer for it, other than me.”

“How about you take that anger out on me,” I joked as I pulled a vest suit out of the closet. It was a burgundy vest paired with a light grey dress shirt and black trousers.

Shadow’s anger and defiance simmered down into a subtle twist of despair. His eyes fell half closed and the corners of his mouth fought to not make his frown too evident.

I dropped what I was doing, clearly Shadow was feeling like I wasn’t listening. I tossed the suit on the bed and wrapped my arms around him. He buried his face into my shoulder and returned the embrace.

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to help. It’s so hard to know what to do. I feel so helpless.” I confessed.

“You think you feel helpless.” He said to my chest, with his forehead against my shoulder. After a few moments of holding each other, he spoke again, “Would me going to Fellowship make you feel better?”

 “Yes.” I smiled, pulling him tighter.

“I’ll go. And I will get the contacts, afterwards, I just want to get this shit show over with.” He let go of me, “You’re going to have to find my outfit for me.”

“Not a problem, honey.” I gave him a peck and returned to the closet.

The rest of the morning was chaos. Zephy wanted nothing to do with dressing up and Maria didn’t like the dress Amy picked out for her. Jade didn’t have her diaper on right, so she pooped through her first outfit and I had to find another one.

Shadow was dashing in his sleek black tux. I didn’t care that he had those perpetual rings under his eyes now, he was more handsome than I could imagine. Every time we shared smiles with each other, my heart twinged. He was my precious dark gem, I just needed to make sure he stayed in my grasp.

Amy wore a cream-colored dress with lace and a floral pattern on the chest. Maria wore a bright red dress, and Zeph was in a blue dress shirt and pants. Jade got a pink polka dot onesie. I must admit, the family looked nice all together like that.

We walked to the temple. I had to hold Shadow’s hand the whole way. No one ever noticed that Shadow was having a difficult time with his vision.

The sun felt good, and the summer breeze sparked hope in my soul. That peace lasted until we arrived at our destination. The temple was an intimidating figure, dark gray stone with large ornate stained glass windows. A steeple extended up from the front and on the face of the building was the emerald and Ouroboros.

I wondered why I felt so uncomfortable, then I realized it wasn’t my discomfort I was feeling, it was Shadow’s. I squeezed his hand to give him reassurance, “If this sucks, you can make me suffer for it later.”

“I’d call you masochistic, but I think marrying me is proof enough that you are.” He smirked.  

The entrance sat atop a series of stairs. Mobians gathered around and the reverend, a deep orange ferret, greeted everyone at the door. He shook each of our hands as we entered the building. “It’s nice to see you all. It’s been a few years.” He smiled at me.

“Shadow,” He took a more serious tone as he shook my husband’s hand.

Shadow just squinted his eyes. Once the formalities were over, I grabbed his hand and led him into the sanctuary. It was bigger on the inside than it looked from the outside. The light from the stained-glass windows painted the room with a rainbow of colors. The windows depicted scenes of life, nature and creation. The room was decorated with plant life and candles. The pews were orange and soft, they smelled their age, dusty, with a hint of must. In the front was a large wooden altar decorated with the candles of the Chaos Emerald and Ouroboros and sitting between them was the offering plate. A pew sat on stage behind it in the same shade of almond colored wood as the altar.

As we sat there, my mind filled with images of when my mother used to take me to Fellowship. Our temple was a lot smaller, and the people there felt like family. It was difficult for me to separate my nostalgia from the current moment.

Shadow crossed his legs and arms and seemed to fold in on himself. I scooted in closer to him, hoping my closeness would help his discomfort. Amy had to get on Maria and Zephyr for trying to run down the aisle.

“This place is pretty.” Maria said.

“Why are we here?” Zeph pouted.    

Amy took Jade to the nursery.

The next ten minutes was all stiff conversation and people making comments about how we never come to Fellowship. Shadow gave everyone the cold shoulder, I overcompensated.

One phrase that came up almost every single time was, “It’s an honor to have you here, sir.”

The broken record grew more irritating by the person. I love people, I’m not bothered by the attention, but something that has always ticked me off is how often people looked at me or Shadow and only saw our reputation. It’s a deeply isolating feeling.

The priestess stepped onto the stage and rang a series of silver chimes that hung by the podium, signaling the start of service. She was a black lynx in purple robes. She moved in a graceful mystery, like a billow of smoke as the congregation quieted. She flowed down to the altar and lit the candles and the incense on the altar plate. The scent filled the sanctuary with earthy, smoky warmth.

A choir of three sang the opening hymn. And after the pastor took the stage and began his teaching.

Shadow leaned into me, and I lost all focus on the service. Just being next to him was all that mattered. He needed me, I was determined to be his rock.

Amy hung on the pastors every word, her soft green eyes glowing with wonder. The kids struggled to stay focused and when it was time for them to go to the kids’ service, they jumped at the opportunity to play with other kids.

The sermon went on for too long. But Shadow and I were in our own little world. His warmth and sleepy eyes, the way he put his weight into me like I was an immovable object. How I nuzzled the top of his head and whispered jokes about the congregation in his ear. The soft smile he gave in return as he attempted not to laugh.

We were pulled out of our affections by the altar call. Music played on the organs that sat on either side of the stage and the choir sang a closing hymn. My heart stuttered, this is what I was waiting for, the moment to bring my prayer to a larger voice.

Shadow noticed my change in demeanor and squinted at me, “Don’t tell them anything. You can go up there and pray if you want, but I want no part of this.”

“The whole point of this is to help you get better.” I huffed.

“You are so stubborn,”

“Look who’s talking.”

He and I starred each other down. Pastor Bramwell asked all of us if we would like to come up and make a prayer request. Before Shadow could snag me, for more scolding, I got up and pranced down to the altar. Anyone who came up to pray was asked to give a ring to the offering plate. I was the first one there, front and center. I fished a ring out of my pocket, and it clinked against the tin. Soon the plate was full of rings from various people who gathered around me. The priestess looked down on us with her haunting lime green eyes as we knelt down in front of it.

“Sonic, you seem eager to pray, may I ask what it is you request?” She spoke.

“No… I’m keeping that to myself, thank you.” I pulled my lips tight.

“Prayers are louder when spoken by more than one voice, are you certain you wish to keep it private?” Her voice gave me chills.

I focused on the engravings in the altar.

Joy at Sunrise, Peace at Sunset.

“Are you humbled before the altar? Do you still carry the weight of ego, hero?” She asked.

My core trembled, “It’s not a prayer for myself.”

Her eyes moved over to Shadow who still sat at the pew I left him, “Your husband isn’t himself is he? If anyone needs prayer, I’m certain it would be him.”

“He didn’t want me to talk about it.” I confessed.

Her and I shared a soulful glance, “We will amplify our voices before the divine and they shall hear us. The hero has come before us, humbled in the name of his partner. We will lift him up and ask for the hands of Chaos and Gaia to find him. May what ails him be cast out. Let us all join in prayer.” She added a fresh incense to the plate and lit it. As she did the rings vanished.   

Amy pushed people out of the way and squeezed in beside me. She held my hand, and we bowed our heads. The priestess made her rounds and rested a hand on each of our heads, speaking in a language only she understood.

But as it did in the garden the incense went out and I was left feeling empty. I watched the last wafts of smoke filter through the air and frowned at it. Here I was grasping for something that was as tangible as those little strands that floated through the air and dissipated.

I sat back on the ground and let the hollowness open up inside me. Amy rested her head on my shoulder.

“What am I even looking for?” I asked no one.

“I’m sure they are listening to us.” Amy attempted to reassure me.

“Are they?” My voice dopped.

The prayer group dispersed, and once I felt that I wasn’t getting anything else out of that experience I got up to go find Shadow.

A little old sheep was sitting next to Shadow. He looked like he wanted to jump out of his skin, his eyes were straining with a combination of emotions that I couldn’t make sense of.

“Oh no.” Amy groaned.

“What?” I asked.

“That’s Ester. She’s one of those that thinks that she can tell everyone how to behave.” Amy’s words sent me fuming.

“He didn’t want to be here; that’s the last thing he needs.” I stormed over. By the time I got to the pew it was too late.

I heard the old bitty say “If you were more faithful, maybe Chaos would be kinder to you.”

That was Shadow’s last straw. He burst up from the seat his muscles sharp as stone and pushed through the crowds till he got out the door. I pushed into my speed and met him out there just in time to catch him before he tripped down the entrance’s stairs.

His eyes tore at me with pain and betrayal as he steadied himself on the railing. Not a word was said as I walked with him down the stairs.

He hunched his shoulders and turned away from me, “You said you wouldn’t tell them.”

“I didn’t tell them anything.” I pleaded.

“Then who did?” He growled, snapping back at me.

Amy stumbled up beside me. My eyes turned to her. I never told her not to tell anyone.

“What is it?” She looked at both of us as we stared at her.

“Ester knew about Shadow.” I pursed my lips.

“I didn’t tell her… Oh.” Her ears fell back and her face turned bright red, “I told the pastor. I didn’t know we were keeping it a secret.”

“This is all my fault.” I folded in on myself, “I should have said something to you.”

“No, this is both of your fault.” Shadow turned back to us, “Ever since this…started, I have felt like I am just something to be paraded around and pitied. And I get pushed into coming here, where I am literally the object of everyone’s pitty now.” He gritted his teeth, “I am trying to be understanding, but I don’t get the same understanding in return.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and paced back, “You know what, I’m just going to get myself home.”

“How, you can’t..” I started.

He glared at me, and lifted a hand, “Do what?”

I pulled my ears back, “Using your powers makes it worse.”

“Does it look like I give a shit?” He waved his hand and in a flash of green light he was gone.

I just rubbed my face in my hands. A groan escaped me. Shadow was always so problem avoidant; this was the worst time for him to be. How was I supposed to help him when he was throwing up walls?

“I’m going to go check on him. You stay here with the kids.” I turned back to Amy.

Amy gave me a pout and then her eyes softened, “I’m sorry, I really didn’t think it was going to cause this much trouble.”

“The damage is done. I just want to know he’s okay.” Before I dashed off, guilt snuck up on me and I looked back at Amy one last time, “Don’t beat yourself up too much. And seriously, I want you and the kids to enjoy the potluck. I’ll be back when I know everything is good.” The smile I gave her was weak at best.

She looked so lost standing alone in front of the temple steps. Returning my smile, the wind seemed to beckon her back into the building.

My legs carried me back to the house, tearing through the small town we called home. Our little pale-yellow house sat nestled amongst trees. Usually, the sight brought me comfort but now I was just pained inside with unease. Those legs never stopped until I searched the house and landed on Shadow in our bed.

His suit was tossed on the floor, and he laid under the covers. He squeezed his eyes shut and I could see them move under the lids. “I know you’re here, Sonic.” He grumbled.

“I had to know that you were okay.” I felt the darkness in my eyes.

“I’m not dead, if that’s what you were worried about.” He yanked the covers up and tuned away from me.

His words tore me up, “Why do you have to be like this?”

“I’m dying.” He flopped back on his back. I watched his expression contort in pain and then draw into sadness, ending his emotional turmoil with some sort of sorrow full pleasure. A smile crept on his face, “Turns out, when you think you’re immortal and you wake up one day to the fact that you’re mortal, it changes the way you look at everything. I don’t want to stay angry at you.” He turned his head back towards me, resting his arm across his forehead, “I just need you to do one thing for me, please, slow down and listen. If I say I don’t want to do something, just let me be grumpy and not do it. I know you’re scared, and I will be honest, I feel a bit scared too.”

“I’ll respect it next time.” I promised. The conversation desaturated the room. Shadow’s calm scared me more than his anger. Angry was his base line, and I always liked that about him, it was evidence of his fiery spirit. When he looked at me his rubies were embers, smoldering behind an ocean of emotions that he would never share with me.

He was a locked journal, and even I wondered if I wanted to unlock it.

I accepted the embers, if that’s all he had for me, it was better than nothing.

“You were right.” He grumbled.

My eyes widened. I had never heard those words come out of his mouth, not in the entire time I had known him. Not without at least me having to pry it out of him.

“I’m sure I’m going to be in bed for the rest of the day, my head is killing me. But I anticipated it. I got you, your rose.” He pulled the rose out from the far side of the pillow where it would be out of my sight. “No note this time, because I can see to write one. I will leave you with this, I love you because you’re not just an idiot, you’re my idiot.”

I swiped the rose from him, “You’re telling me that you used Chaos Control twice?”

He smiled as he covered his eyes with his arm, “You are an idiot, that doesn’t exempt me from being one.”

I smiled and shook my head. Amy did like to call us two halves of the same idiot. I think that the whole situation had us all acting like idiots. Pressing the rose to my nose, I inhaled its sweet scent, “Thanks, love.”

“Now go back and do your Fellowship thing. Just because I’m miserable, doesn’t mean you should have to be.” He waved his hand to shoo me off.

“I’m going to be miserable, worrying about you.”

“Don’t.” He pulled his arm away enough to look at me, “Now go, I’m sure the kids are wondering where we went.”

“Okay,” I sighed. I leaned over the bed and gave him a kiss before leaving him to his own devices. The thought of leaving him alone stung, but if that’s what he wanted, I had to remember, he asked me to listen.

…

June 9^th  no note, he told me that my smile could light up the darkest cave, Shadow also got his first gene therapy treatment.

            June 10^th no note, he brought home yellow roses, he said he’s glad he got to marry his best friend.

            June 11^th he finally got contacts, he gave me three notes to make up for the ones he didn’t write, but he couldn’t remember what he had said to me the past few days

            I love you because there couldn’t be anyone better to be the world’s hero.

            I love you because our rivalry never stops being fun, even as partners.

            I love you because you’re my best friend before anything else.

I’m sure the yellow roses were what reminded him that he told me he values our friendship. Shadow caught me putting the notes in a shoe box and gave me a hug from behind.

“If you’re going to keep those, you could do so much better than a shoe box.” He said into the hollow of my neck.

I lifted up on my toes and he slid his feet underneath mine to get closer. I savored the feeling of his embrace. His nose was wet against the underside of my chin. I wanted him to hold me tighter. It was like my flesh was craving to meld with his.

“What would you suggest I put them in?” I gave a wry grin, rebelling against the blade in my chest.

“What if I got you a keepsake box? One that’s wooden and I can have it engraved.” He kissed the soft flesh on the side of my throat. I swallowed. Shadow must have felt my change in demeanor, “I’m sorry babe, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He let go of me.

I turned around and met his eyes holding back my tears, “No, it’s fine.”

I furrowed my brow at him the more I sifted my emotional landscape, “Are you sure you haven’t felt any different since the gene treatment?”

Shadow shrugged and sat down on the bed, “My head feels like I am trying to look through clouds constantly. I could be wrong, but it seems like it’s gotten worse since that treatment.” He scooted back and his eyes drifted into a squint, “I already dealt with amnesia once, this doesn’t feel that different. I can’t stand this shit.”

Then his eyes widened, “How long have we been married?” He took his glove off and looked at his hand, his movements short and frantic. His shoulders folded in when his eyes laid on the ring on his finger. A white gold band with the words engraved, “My Chaos Controlled.”

“It has sapphires on the inside.” His voice was strained. His eyes deepened and ached.  

“This year would be our tenth anniversary.” It was even harder to swallow.

“September 22^nd, the last day of summer.” He kept the same tone of voice. “I don’t want to wear gloves again, I don’t want to forget.”

My frustration boiled over, “You keep talking like you don’t trust that we will find a cure.”  

“It’s hard to hold onto much hope when you watched your sister struggle for over a year, only to find out time and time again that your efforts to save her failed.” His eyes bore into me. Once again, he spilled out the depths of his inner turmoil and yet, I could taste in the bitter air between us, that this was only the surface.

“I’m sorry that I don’t glean to optimism as easily as you do.” His face simmered with annoyance, muscles tightening around the edges and his brow falling.

The conversation had reached a checkmate. I knocked over my king and went for the shoe box on the bed, “I don’t need the keepsake box.” I placed the box in the top shelf of the closet.  

…

            June 12^th I love you, because you have a cute butt. He made a whole point of giving my cheek a pinch when he handed me the rose. All this time and he still was able to make me blush with those smoky eyes. I added the rose to the vase on the kitchen table. It was filling up with roses, all in varying states of decay. The yellow ones stood out like the flecks of gold I saw in his ruby eyes.

“I know I have been spending a lot of time at the memorial garden, but honestly its place that makes me feel the most at peace.” He leaned his back against the counter as I dug for snacks in one of the upper cabinets. A box of peanut butter wafers caught my eye, and I was already plotting to demolish the whole thing in one sitting. I took the box out and worked on tearing it open. Once I had my treat, I looked over at him waiting for him to continue his thoughts.

“You haven’t even once agreed to come with me to the garden,” He accused, his eyes twinging in irritation.

“I thought that was more your thing,” I failed at making an excuse. I stuffed my face hoping to keep the sudden guilt from constricting my stomach.

Shadow’s eyes glazed and he turned so that only one elbow was on the counter, “I’m not giving you a choice. I don’t care why you don’t want to go to the garden, I want you there. In fact, I think it would be great for all of us to go.” He put on a conniving grin that dug under my skin.

Was he trying to get revenge for me, making him go to Fellowship?

I covered my mouth with my hand so as not to spray crumbs everywhere, “Spit it out, I hate it when you play these vague games with me.”

“My birthday is coming up. I figured we should have a picnic out there. You, me, Amy, the kids, heck we can get the whole gang together for it.” His grin softened revealing his genuine excitement at the idea.

I swallowed the sweet, nutty wafer, “You never celebrate your birthday.”

“I am this year.” His eyes drifted into a lazy glaze.

My own enjoyment faltered, “Well, if that’s what you want, I’ll make it happen. We will have an amazing family outing. The whole family.”

“Thanks,” his smile that he held far longer than usual dissipated. He slumped, “I’m going to crash on the couch.”

“You go do that,” I went back to the wafers, I’ve always been a big foodie but at this point looking at the sugary treats I was wondering if I was comfort eating. “Before you go Shads, have you seen your compensatory payments yet?”

“They are supposed to be mailing a check.” He turned back to me before he crossed into the living area.

“Mail, isn’t that a bit outdated?” I tilted my head.

“I may have worked for GUN, but I don’t trust them enough to give them bank account information.”  The pose he made brought back memories of we, or at least I, was a lot younger. He had such a rebellious streak, even after Abraham convinced him to join the force.

“I’ll check the mail. I’m done keeping you from your nap.” I shooed him off with another open package of wafers in my hand. Tossing the rest of the box on the counter, I strode through the living room to the front door.

Shadow flopped onto the couch with the full weight of gravity. I gave a moment of pause at his constant exhaustion before I forced myself to accept it and went outside. The mailbox was a white, tin envelope shaped container that hung just outside of the door. It was stuffed with mail that I hadn’t bothered to grab. This was one of those times that my inattentiveness brought me humiliation. I crammed the last bit of wafer in my mouth and gathered up all of the mail. Once I was back in the house, Shadow was already snoring.

Poor baby. My soul died a bit more every time I saw how much this disease was draining him. Some unseen monster tormented my love, and all I could do was feel powerless. I gritted my teeth at it and made my way back to the kitchen. I tossed the bundle of mail on the table and sorted through it. moments of searching passed, and I found it,

 

            G.U.N. General Accounting

            Reimbursement Claim Division

           

            I tore along the perforations and unfolded it. Then I laid my eyes on the check amount

            $2000.00

“There is no fucking way!” My muscles lit ablaze.

“What is it?” Shadow groaned. He tossed over in the couch and propped his head against the arm.                  

“They are paying us this monthly?!” I had to resist the desire to tear up the check.

“Yes, it’s monthly…How much is it?

“Two thousand. They realize we are a family of five, right?” I slammed the check down onto the table, “Fuck this! It was those scientists who caused that mutation. We should be suing them!”

Shadow rolled his head back, “We aren’t financially hurting. We got Amy’s income now from the bakery and I still have over fifty-K in savings. Suing isn’t worth our energy.”

Just then Amy came in from outside with the kids, “Speak of the devil.” Shadow and I said at the same time.

Zeph bolted straight for the snacks on the counter.

“Those are mine,” I snatched the box before he could.

He gave me the biggest pouty lip.

“Okay, you can have one. We really should be thinking about dinner soon.” I opened a package for him. Zeph grabbed the wafers and ran off.

Maria crawled up on Shadow and he wrapped his arms around her. A small bunch of blue on black, they were so adorable together.

Amy sat the carrier, with Jade in it, down in the living room. Maria slid off Shadow and offered to get Jade out of her seat.

“Be gentle with her.” Amy instructed. She saw me in the kitchen and then her eyes found the pile of mail behind me, “Did I miss something?”

“Just GUN trying to screw us over.” I crossed my arms.

Amy squinted her eyes in confusion.

“Compensation check came in.” Shadow answered her unspoken question.   

Jade started crying, causing Maria to cry as well, holding the fussy baby, “She doesn’t like me.” She pouted.

Amy got down and consoled both of the sobbing littles.

I noticed the stress in my shoulders and scrunched up to force some relief. All of this felt so overwhelming. It was like pushing boulders around, trying to solve an unanswerable puzzle. I wanted to relate this to any of my adventures to make sense of it but every comparison I made fell flat. I settled on one word that I would never let escape my lips, hopeless.

The back door burst open and all eyes flew to the wide open screen door. Silver sprung into the kitchen with wild eyes, “What timeline am I in?!” His golden eyes danced across the family scene and ended on me. Those irises could have exploded. His quills were full bristle and his muscles scrunched as he twisted to get a better look at me.

“Leave me out of this,” Shadow groaned and placed a decorative pillow over his face.  

“What’s going on Silver? You agreed to substitute for me, remember?” I kept my voice calm.

“Show me your hands,” he said, his eyes dodging all over.

I held up my gloved hands feeling pulled into confusion.

“No, take the gloves off,” he then demanded.

“Okay?” I did as he said.

Silver held my hands and combed them over. His gloved fingers running along my bare fingers. He pinched my wedding ring between his index finger and thumb, “My Speed Defied.” Engraved on platinum.

“You’re married.” He muttered, “To whom?”

“Shadow? What in Chaos is going on?”

“I was battling plasma ghosts and got knocked out of the primary timeline. I saw things, Sonic. I saw some shit.” His face was too close to mine for comfort.

“My whole idea of time has been challenged. I am losing my grip.” He let go of me and paced around the room. A few times he looked like he was going to open the drawers or cabinets, but he stopped himself each time. “Do you have straws?” He asked.

“Paper straws, does that work?” I went to the silverware drawer. When I turned around Silver had scissors in hand that he pulled from the knife block. He snatched the box of straws out of my hand and dumped them out on the kitchen table, his movements frantic yet focused. He pushed the vase of roses, and I collected it before Silver could knock them over.

We all watched as Silver sorted through the rainbow-colored straws and cut them into little chunks, some left longer than others. He put notches in the ends and fit them together. Soon he had an intricate structure of straws, each one meticulously placed. His hands shook as he adjusted them to how he wanted them. The whole construction stood at least a foot tall and spanned the width of the table.

“What is it?” I asked.

“This is the time stream. It’s so much more than the timeline. Each straw is a timeline and where they connect are convergence. See that one there?” He pointed to an orange straw in the middle, “That’s where we are at right now. And you see this spot?” He pointed to where the orange straw shot off into a yellow one, “That’s where I came into this timeline… Wait. Am I not from the same timeline?” He then bent his head around getting a better look at his work. Silver worked his way around the structure until he was on his knees looking up at it.

“Should I even be here?” his voice trembled.

My curiosity got the better of me and I reached over to one of the straws.

“Don’t touch it!” He looked up at me with his eyes twitching, “That straw is where you became king of the earth.”

My lips parted and I raised a brow.

“Look at this.” Silver continued his rant. “If I stay in this timeline… wait now. If I go back to this timeline, I could change how Shade got the Chaos Emeralds. But what if… I should be able to change the events in this timeline if I went back to this convergence. But that could have catastrophic events on the timeline where GUN sells candles.”

“Daddy!” Zeph’s voice came into the kitchen. I turned to find him climbing up onto the kitchen table, “I want another snack.”

I reached out to stop Zeph but it was too late, the whole structure came down. Straws fell and rolled off the kitchen table, raining onto the floor. Silver stared across the table at Zeph, his eyes wide enough to tear skin. I thought for a moment that he was going to have a meltdown.

“Zeph, Silver was working on something.” I exasperated.

“I want to work on something.” Zeph filled both hands with straws.

“If you’re going to help me rebuild this you have to do it right.” Silver got up and peered down at Zeph.

The little black hedgie returned the gaze, scrunching the rainbow straws in each hand.

“Put them back on the table, I’ll show you how to do it.” Silver instructed.

The two got right to work constructing the time stream. That was the most still and focused I had ever seen that kid. It had been a while since I allowed myself to smile like that. It felt so foreign on my face. The taste was bittersweet. How much of my identity had been lost to this struggle. I was supposed to be the strong and positive one, unphased and unbothered. Come to think of it, I’m sure that’s how Shadow felt about himself. Identity can be so fragile under the right circumstances.