Drug Therapy

“Maria had another fainting spell. Her O2 stats dropped. She’s in the infirmary. We haven’t been able to regain her oxygen levels, she’s currently on five liters.” The pencil thin, platinum blond nurse spoke from the open door of the research lab. She tensed at the coming outburst, holding her clipboard to her chest as if it would protect her.

“God, fuck!” Gerald threw a beaker across the room. It burst and shattered against the steel wall. Chunks of glass clattered down onto the counter below it. Gerald doubled over, shaking as he heaved deep breaths. Once he calmed enough, he found his way over to the counter where the broken beaker lay.

“It will be alright, professor. We’ve just started our work together. We will find a cure, I’m sure of it.” Shadow stood behind the professor. He wanted to reach out and provide some comfort, but he saw the way the old man struggled to catch his breath and the sweat that had formed on his balding head. His muscles still shook from the rage.  

After a few minutes’ past, Gerald found his calm and acknowledged Shadow’s presence. “Thanks, I appreciate that you are such a willing participant in my research.” His voice had a cold malice to it, in spite of the words being kind.

“I love Maria, just as much as you do. I would do anything to ensure that she gets better and can return to earth.” Shadow stood firm. If he could describe himself, he was crafted with a backbone of determination and a heart that was braver than dragons, of which he was familiar with through fairytales that Maria would read to him.

“Good, I’m going to need to do another bone marrow extraction on you.” Gerald picked up the large pieces of broken beaker and tossed them in the nearby trash.

Shadow’s brow furrowed, that determination faltered, “Are you sure that is necessary, Professor? You just took an extraction from me last week.”

“Samples don’t last, Shadow. And our results were inconclusive. We need to try again.” Gerald turned back to Shadow. His eyes looked like ice obscured by the reflection of his glasses.

Shadow recoiled. The procedure was invasive, painful even. Gerald was weird about the use of numbing agents. He would state that they could potentially “taint” the subject. That was all Shadow was, a subject. Existing to the beck and call of a man that held his heart in his hands. Maria’s name carved deeply onto that heart. And if Shadow ever questioned, it was back to the same old reminder, “This is necessary, for her sake.”

He was given no choice but to resign. Shadow took comfort in imagining how Maria would look once she was healthy and free. He pictured her sweet face looking up at her parents who hadn’t seen her in years. He imagined her running through a park with friends her age, making friendship bracelets, enjoying the smell of blossoms that hung down from the trees. He thought about her stories of carnivals, fairs and the earth animals that she adored and missed so much.

Gerald had the glass cleaned up and was already preparing the supplies for the extraction. Shadow could smell the rust of blood, without it even being drawn yet.

Shadow bit down on the fear and gathered his resolve, “Okay, let’s do this.”

             

 …

            New Patient Log, Date: May 12, 2025

            Physician: Dr. Miles Prower

            Patient Name: Shadow the Hedgehog

            Birth Date: June 19, 1951

            Sex: Male

            Gender Identity: Male

            Hight: 3’ 3”

            Weight: 77lb

            Species: Hedgehog, Black Arms

            Next of kin/ Emergency contact: Sonic the Hedgehog

                          

Traits:

Patient has unique abilities with Chaos energy that are not entirely understood. Patient is capable of manipulating space time in small variables and can create weapons out of thin air, such as explosions or energy based spears.  Not much is known about the primordial Chaos from which these powers draw from. More testing and research is needed to be conducted to understand this.

Patient has also exhibited a quick healing factor. This allows them to heal far more quickly than the average organic being. It’s been observed that healing is up to ten times faster than average and varies depending on severity of injury.

Extra Note: More information about these traits can be found in the research journals of this patient’s creator, but they are not currently available.

 

Patient History:

Patient is an artificial creation of gene spicing. They have experienced unknown number of unknown experimental procedures. Patient is reluctant to disclose information about these experiments.

Patient has undergone a fifty-year period of stasis where their memories are unclear at best. They have also been subject to mind alterations during that time that have led to false memories.

Patient has also experienced amnesia. While they report that most memories have returned they’ve express that memories are still “spotty”

           

Psychological Analysis:

Patient complains of consistent nightmares and is avoidant of specific topics. This may hint at PTSD, but patient is reluctant to answer to psychological questionnaires. Patient has also been observed to be avoidant of medical intervention. They have expressed trauma and discomfort at recalling past events that have contributed to their reluctance to receive medical care.

Interventions will need to be made to ensure that patient is comfortable with future treatment.  

Patient’s spouse may provide a means to ease their concerns about care.

They are also a father to three children and express great affection for them in spite of introverted and anti-social behavior.

             

Notes:

Patient was admitted at 10:22 p.m. as unresponsive and found outside of home. They exhibited dilated pupils, mild tremors, and muscle rigidity. Once admitted the following procedures were administered.

Patient was monitored for heart rate, temperature, blood pressure and oxygen levels. All were deemed stable.

Patient was given an EEG scan. Results were inconclusive. Patterns indicate both focal and generalized seizures. More tests will need to be done to determine the source of electrical abnormalities.

Brain scans of patient showed abnormal concentration of neuron activities. This could be caused by multiple different factors, all still unknown. More tests need to be conducted.

Patient was given 250mg Levetiracetam IV solution as per recommendation of physician and directive of next of kin, spouse. Seizure behavior was halted by intervention. Spouse expressed concern that patient may forcibly remove IV. Interventions may be put in place to prevent this when providing future treatment.

Patient was discharged at 8:18 a.m. with the recommendation to begin further testing and treatment. No plans have been set to continue these. Patient was sent home with spouse. Follow up will be conducted by phone call within the next day.

 

…

I could hear Shadow and the kids as I walked down the hallway. His tenor bouncing off their adorable babble in playful banter. I had to go see it. The voices came from Maria’s room.

 

As I peeked around the door frame, I saw him stretched out on the pillowy, pink, princess bed. He looked so out of place among the pretty, sparkly decorations of the room. In his hand was a large children’s book and he had a child at each side. He lifted an arm to let Maria snuggle in next to him and get a better look. Zephyr was struggling to calm down long enough to take a seat. 

 

“This was always my favorite book.” He said, “You remember when I told you about Auntie Maria?” 

 

Zephyr was torn between playing with the stray doll he found on the floor and listening. “Auntie Maria was a human.” He turned back after picking up the bunny. 

 

“Yes, she was.” Shadow smiled, “She was a kid too, just like you two, and I loved her very much.” 

 

“Where is she?” Maria asked. 

 

“She got very very sick, and now she’s gone.” Shadow never lost his warmth as his eyes flickered with forlorn. He brought a hand up scratched behind her ear.

 

“I don’t want to get sick.” Maria pouted and buried her head into his side. 

 

“You won’t have to worry about that. You’re a very strong little girl.” He kissed her head. 

 

Shadow readjusted and flipped the book open, “Auntie Maria used to read this one to me, it’s called Drago the Fierce. The dragon in this book reminds me of myself a bit.” 

 

“Because he’s black, like you daddy?” Zephyr was suddenly interested in the book. He squeezed in on the already crowded bed, so that he could get a look. 

 

“No, because he was misunderstood. Here, I will read it to you.” He flipped open to the first page.

 

It was a picture of a big, burly, black dragon with smoke drifting from his nose. He had twisting horns and long sharp claws, but his eyes were a gentle butter yellow. The dragon stood over a cliff looking down on a village. 

 

“Drago the Fierce was lonely dragon. He spent his days watching the children of the village play. He wanted to play too, but didn’t know how.” Shadow’s voice was the comfort of the hearth on a winter’s day. The story he told was of how Drago struggled to make friends with the villagers. It depicted how he would play games with the kids, only for those games to go awry. Drago was then outcast by the villagers, who called him big, scarry and dangerous. But a princess came and became friends with Drago. Showing the village that the dragon wasn’t so bad after all.

He closed the book and Maria squirmed out of his hold. Shortly after Zephyr and Maria were chasing each other. Shadow sighed; it was so hard to keep their attention for very long. As he watched them bolt out the bedroom door, he looked up at me. “Hey babe,” He smiled.

        

“Tails called. He wants to follow up with you.”

 

Shadow’s smile dropped.

 

“I get it. This is scary, but you need to let him take care of you. I don’t want to see your condition get any worse.” I walked over to the bed wondering if Shadow needed me to give him some comfort. He pulled his feet up and gestured for me to sit at the foot of the bed.

 

Shadow always had a way of hiding his feelings, even from me. It had taken a long time for me to catch on to his tells. He kept his snoot pressed to his knees, a posture he took when he felt insecure. He blinked more than usual, that showed me he was scared. His ears drifted to the sides ever so slightly, he was defensive.

        

“Talk to me Shads. What’s going on in that head of yours? You need to be open with me.”

He looked back down at the bed, his brow scrunching, “All of this is bringing back some really bad memories. I just don’t know how to cope.”

        

“We will take it one step at a time. How about this, we will avoid the testing if at all possible. Hopefully, Tails can find another way to figure out what’s going on. How are you feeling physically?”

 

“Really fatigued,” His ears pulled back, and his gaze deepened.

 

I was reading his mind. I knew him well enough too. He was disheartened. All of those years of fighting to have control over his own life, this was threatening to take all that away from him. The prospect was terrifying.

        

“Come on, switch sides with me.” He got out of bed, and I went and sat at the head, leaning my back against the white headboard. I opened myself up and beckoned him to curl up in my embrace. He obliged, folding up into a fetal position, resting his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing his head into me, holding him as close to my heart as I could. His ear folding into the peach fur, listening to the steady rhythm. As we curled up there, basking in this moment of comfort, I showered his head with kisses. I felt the texture of his quills on my lips, like soft straw. And when I breathed, I imagined the love in my heart projecting out, healing his ailment, making him whole. If only it could be that easy.

 

Shadow couldn’t lose who he was. That’s why I needed him to fight, and I would do anything to accommodate his anxieties about treatment.

 

There was a crash in the living room. Then Jade started crying. Life moved on no matter how much we wanted time to stop for us. Well, Chaos Control may have solved that problem, but it was clear Shadow was far too exhausted to wield that power.

        

“I’ll go take care of it. You can head to bed, but please, call Tails and get something figured out, okay?” I gave him one last kiss.

 

“I will.” He grumbled.       

 

Shadow sulked off the bed while I dealt with the broken lamp. Once the glass was cleaned up and the kids were given a piece of my mind, I let them know that they needed to keep quiet for a while.

        

Zephyr’s green eyes couldn’t be more adorable, it was hard to stay mad at him.

        

“Daddy Shadow is going to be taking a nap, can you two play quietly?” I was asking the sun not to rise.

        

“I wanna be a fish but Maria told me no.” Zephyr pouted, his little black arm pointing accusations at her.

        

“You’re not a fish, you’re a hedgehog.” Maria stomped.

        

I let loose a groan. Jade was still crying in her basinet, It had been some time so I was sure she was hungry.

 

“How about you two watch a movie? That’s a quite thing to do.” I didn’t like using the TV as a babysitter but for now I was a single father of three. I had to make this work somehow.

        

I picked up Jade and juggled warming up her bottle while finding Maria and Zephyr something to watch. Once everything was settled, I sat with Jade in the rocking chair we had in the corner of the living room. It was a perfect angle to look out the large front window. I loved how warm it always was in that rocking chair, from the sunlight pouring in. I gave her the bottle and rocked with her. This was heavier than my optimism could withstand. I pushed against the supports, doing my best to keep that optimism afloat. Letting this get to me wasn’t going to fix it, as long as I could keep this going, we would find a way out. After all, I am the hero of this story…aren’t I?  

 

           

Tails came by later that day while I was cooking dinner. I wasn’t that great of a cook. Usually, Shadow was the one to cook. So that night’s dinner was simple. Spaghetti. Zephyr would run in and out of the kitchen asking when dinner would be ready and I would be a broken record, asking him not to run in the house.

That fox brought with him his medical supplies and a white paper bag of medication. He smiled at me as he came in through the front door, the children running up to him at they always do.  “Hey Maria. Hey Zeph.” He acknowledged them and met me in the kitchen.

“Hey bud. Shadow is laying down in bed if you’re here to check on him.” I dumped the hamburger into the strainer. The savory smell wafted up and triggered my mouth to salivate.

Tails took a seat at the kitchen table, hoisting the bag of his medical supplies onto it. “Has he been sleeping a lot?”

“Yeah, I noticed he’s been pretty low energy the past week. And after the incident yesterday that’s all he’s wanted to do.” I hated acknowledging that. Shadow could be just as high energy as me. The two of us juggled the kids like the household was a circus act.

“Maria pushed me!” Zephyr cried from the living room.

“I did not!” Maria shouted in return.

“Kids, enough. Dinner’s almost ready anyway.” I finished putting the hamburger and jarred spaghetti sauce together to cook. The noodles sat finished in the pot beside.

“There is plenty here if you want some.” I told Tails.

When I looked back at him, he had a tablet open laying on the table. He scrolled through and tapped buttons. His eyes were sharp with concentration. He stopped what he was doing, “Sure, I’ll stay for dinner. Besides, I think you could use a break from the kids for a while. I can play with them for a bit.”

“I would love that.” I sighed, “What are you doing there?” I gestured to the tablet.

“Keeping a log. I can keep track of Shadow’s symptoms and any potential contributors to his condition. I get he doesn’t want to do tests. I’m hoping that I can sleuth out some stuff this way. It’s weird, I’m emotionally invested, but also deeply intrigued. This is like a puzzle with out all of the pieces, and I am dying to get the full picture.” Tails furrowed his brow as he went back over his notes, “There is no way I’m going to be able to figure this one out alone. I don’t think Shadow’s going to like it, but I need to get a team together. Hopefully we can convince him to let us do more tests.”

“I’m sure he’ll come around. There is far too much at stake here.” I dished out bowls for each of the kids and then went to warm up a bottle for Jade. Maria and Zephyr found their respective dishes, leapt up onto the two wooden stools and went right to making the biggest mess possible while stuffing their faces. Bright red sauce painted all over Maria’s brand-new pink dress. I sighed in response. I may as well have let the girl eat naked.

“I’ll make myself a bowl in a bit. I just want to ask you some questions and then give Shadow a check-up. We agreed that I could come over to the house and do well check-ins as I see fit. Has Shadow complained of any other symptoms?” His tails flicked behind him, threaded through the open back of the wooden dining chair.

“When he had the initial episode, he did complain about his head. He hasn’t said anything out right, but I can tell he’s in pain.”

“Maybe I can talk the pharmacy into providing me with some migraine medications. They complain that I am not a licensed doctor, but I think I have provided them with enough of my expertise to prove myself. It helps that I’m best friends with THE Sonic the Hedgehog.” Tails smirked up at me, his eyes simmering with mischief. He made a few more taps on his tablet.

“I usually don’t like you using my name like that, but if it helps Shadow, I’ll let it pass.” I grabbed the bottle from the warmer and tested it on the back of my hand, feeling the warm wet droplets on my peach fuzz.

“I had a feeling you would say that” He smiled at me, “I was able to get some Keppra from the pharmacy. I would like Shadow to start taking 20mg twice a day, if you can make sure he does that.” Tails gestured to the paper bag. “Any other symptoms I should know about?”

“He’s been forgetful. I could tell him something and he would forget that we had the conversation an hour later. Other than that, I can’t think of anything else.”

 Tails got up from the table and grabbed his bags, “Thanks, I’ll go check-in and see how his vitals are doing.”

…

I was woken up by the sound of my phone. It took so much effort to yank myself out of sleep. Shadow was pressed up against me as if he had been chasing me in his sleep. “Honey, I need you to move, I got to get to my phone.” Shadow groaned and rolled back as I pushed on him.

I rolled over and grabbed my phone from the nightstand. It was Knux. Shadow slid back into me to spoon, his arm around my chest.

“What is it, Knux?” I answered, “How is the world saving going?”

“Not good, we got a she-beast on our hands. She’s come up out of the water on Buttler Bay and has already taken out a good chunk of city with her tentacles.”

“Duty calls?” Shadow’s voice was a lower octave than usual.

“Yeah,” I sighed turning my head back to him.

He lifted himself up and planted a kiss on me, “I really don’t want you to go.” His eyes looked so tired, “But the world needs you.”

“I don’t want to go either.” I said to Shadow and then went back to my call, “Let me get some stuff in order here and I will be over. Are you guys still in Aura City?”

“Yeah. How’s Shadow doing by the way?” He asked.

“We’re still figuring that one out.”

Shadow side eyed me as if to tell me to say no more.

“I just need to figure out baby sitting and I’ll race on over.” I hung up the phone and sat up in bed. Shadow met me with a hug. The feeling of his arms around me held together my frazzled nerves.

“How do you feel about having Amy over while I am gone? She can watch the kids and keep an eye on you.” I said into the embrace.

“Do you really feel like I need a babysitter too?” He grumbled.

“After you scared the shit out of me last time I left, yes.” My voice came exasperated.

He could burn me with the irritation in his eyes as he pulled out of the hug. My heart hurt, I hated that this was only adding to his feeling of humiliation. I didn’t want to hurt him, but he would only get more hurt if I didn’t get protective like this.

“Hate me all you want. It’s for your own good.” I scolded, “I’ll call Amy and let the kids know I’m leaving.” I kissed him on the cheek and got out of bed. As I went out the door, I looked back and saw him lay back down, the sadness in his eyes drilled a whole in me.

If it wasn’t for the circumstances, we would be planning to leave together. He and I would banter back and forth. No matter how in love we were, he still found some pretty cold ways to insult me. I had my own comebacks that could cut just a deep. Insults, in some strange way, were a love language for us. The best part though, was the competition. We would always race to our destination. I liked making fun of him for needing air shoes to keep up with me. He would make fun of me for aging in return.

Now Shadow was only tired, resigned, he looked so hopeless. I wanted so damn bad to have him back with me, doing the same games we always do. I know he felt the same.

 

…

Why did it have to be water? It was so hard to stay focused on that fight. Every swing of tentacles and slash of claws from that her were harder to dodge while I was dodging my thoughts of home. She had the torso of a human woman and the legs of an octopus, and she had one eye buried underneath a mop of blond, kelp tangled hair. The goal was to push her back into the dimensional rift that had sprung up over the bay.

I’d spring from one tentacle, feeling the slick, squish as I landed onto the next and she would swing at me with her heavily muscled arms and clawed hands.

            I spun over a tentacle trying to grab me.

Was Shadow still angry? Was he still talking with Tails about treatment?

            A claw came dangerously close to tearing my side open.

How were the kids handling all of this? Did they understand what was going on?

The beast spun, crafting a tidal wave. I slipped off the tentacle I was on and clung for dear life. The tentacle dipped back, the slime forcing me to lose my grip and I scrambled to keep hold. My mind screamed with panic. With a swift, flick she tossed me into the air. I didn’t fear falling but what I was about to fall into left me most cold. Before I could make a save and keep myself above the waves, that same tentacle clenched around my waist and ripped me down into the deep. The water stinging every inch of my body at the impact.

I hadn’t gotten enough of a breath before she did it.

My lungs screamed and tore at my insides begging for air.

I fought and clawed at the tentacle, desperate to get its constricting hold off of me. My gloves only adding to my helplessness as my claws couldn’t break free.

A blur of red swirling in the water was the last thing I saw before my vision went black.

…

I was lost. Trapped in endless water, with no way to know where surface was. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even make bubbles with my breath. There was no breath in me to make them… Where was mom?

…

Air. I gasped and coughed, my lungs feeling like a searing inferno. Every gasp resulted in coughs and every cough turned into another gasp.

“Thank Chaos.” Knuckles’ voice drew my attention. My head was throbbing with my attempts to clear my lungs. My eyes focused and found him beside me. We were on the beach, my legs caked in mud and streaks on the shore from where he dragged me. Knuckles’ arm was around me supporting me.

“Your head really isn’t in the game.” He commented, his tone was brotherly, his amethyst irises deeper than I was used to seeing.

I drew myself in, feeling washed in shame. “You deserve better than this out of me. I’m supposed to be the leader of this group.” I wanted to bristle my quills and push him away.

“Well from what I gather what you’re dealing with, with Shadow is pretty heavy.” He sat down beside me.

I relaxed and looked at the monstrosity still sloshing around in the water. Rouge was still circling it, plotting out weak points that we could strike. I slumped. This was hopeless. Most of the team had turned away from heroism to start domestic lives. Now that it was just me, Knuckles and Rouge we were barely holding on. Is this what growing up is like? Was it time for us to start passing down the torch?  I dreaded the thought. I love being a hero.

“Shadow doesn’t want me to talk about it.” I pouted.

“What about you? If you’re too stressed out to focus on doing our job, that's incredibly dangerous. You need to be able to vent some of that frustration out.” He rested a hand on my shoulder. I shivered at the breeze on my wet fur.

I pulled my ears back and tightened my face, “Just don’t let him know we talked about it.”

Knuckles nodded and I slipped into the comfort of being safe with him.

“Shadow has been having seizures. He won’t let Tails do any testing and It took everything just to convince him to do one brain scan. We have no clue what’s going on and I know he’s scared…” I slunk down lower, “I’m terrified, Knux.”

“That’s scary stuff. You’re trying to be strong for everyone but don’t forget you need support to”

An ear-splitting screech shattered our moment. We looked back to find that Rouge had landed a foot in the monster’s eye. Knuckles jumped up to his feet. He whooped and hollered out at the water “You go sweety! Kick its ass!”

Rouge gave the beast another strike across the head, spinning her body around to give the most momentum possible. It was enough to knock the beast back, and she collapsed into the water unconscious, arms flailing as she fell. A wave ripped up from the weight of her crashing into the bay and sloshed onto the shore where we were.

When it was all said and done, Rouge was standing on top of the unconscious sea witch, the beast mountaining out of the water. Rouge looked like a sleek blade, her white fur shimmering with water even under an overcast sky. “This Chaos Emerald Is mine!” She shouted holding out a large blue gem, “Since you two just ditched me out here!”

“That’s not fair! I had to rescue his ass!” Knuckles shouted back, gesturing over to me.

“Well help me get this thing back in the rift!” She put a fist on her hip.

…

Once that part of our mission was done, I bolted back home as quickly as my legs could carry me. I had only been gone for a couple of days, but it didn’t make the distance feel any less.

When I burst through the door, I found Shadow tearing through the kitchen. It struck me off right away, he was so energetic, too energetic. Jade was lying on her pink bunny blanket on the floor in the living room. Her tiny arms flailing and legs kicking up blinking those big, beautiful eyes.

“Sonic! You’re back sooner than I expected.” He smiled at me from behind an open cabinet door.

“Where’s Amy?” I looked around.

“I sent her home. I got to tell you, I feel incredible.” Shadow then proceeded to take out every item in the cabinet and litter them on the counter below.

I shook my head and went into the kitchen to try and figure out what he was doing. “Where are the kids?”

“Playing on the computer in the office.” Once every spice had been taken out of that cupboard he moved to the next cupboard and began taking out all of the boxes of easy-made meals.

I leaned against the kitchen table, “First of all, we agreed not to let the kids on the computer, especially unsupervised until they are older. Secondly, what the hell are you doing?”

“Re-organizing. Have you looked at the expiration dates on these?” He held up a box of mac-n-cheese. The date was far from expiring.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, but this is a lot.” I laughed, the kind of laugh you give when you feel uneasy.

“What do you mean?” He dropped what he was doing and looked over to me. His fluffy chest fur swayed with how heavy he was breathing. His eyes were wide, and his pupils constricted.

I pulled my head back, “Has Tails been in recently?”

“Oh yeah! That’s what I wanted to tell you. Dr. Prower got me on a medication regimen. I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way. My mind is just running a hundred miles an hour. Dang…” His eyes widened and he had to steady himself. “No, I’m good. It’s probably just something I need to get used to.”

“This isn’t healthy. I need to call Tails and let him know this is happening.” I was about to flick my ear to trigger the earpiece to call, but then Shadow jumped at me.

He clenched his hands around my forearms, his eye molding into desperation, “No, please don’t. I’ll be fine, I’ll calm down, I promise.” But as he actively tried to calm, he crashed off of that high. His eyes pulled back, that desperate look now tearing into pain and panic. He let go of me putting his hand into his quills, his breaths quick, short and shallow. “no, no, no…” He muttered as he continued to back away from me.  His eyes darted back and forth.

“No. It’s okay. You just need to breathe.”

“No, no, make it stop.” He bumped into the counter behind him and dropped to the ground. I joined him on the ground.

His pupils could have been the tips of needles. He was shaking and pulling his body together as tightly as he could. He kept repeating “no,” as if he could soothe himself with that word.

 I wrapped my arms around him, hoping that would be enough to give him some ground, “I’m calling Tails.”

--

Tails was there withing minutes. Shadow was shaking and buried deep into my embrace. There was footsteps thumping down the hall. Maria’s voice called from the other side where I couldn’t see her, “Daddy?”

I tried to peek over Shadow at her, “Go back to the office, sweety.”

“Is Shadow sick again?” She asked

Maria was too smart for her own age, of course she was picking up on what was going on. “Where is Zephyr?”

“He won’t let me play on the computer.” She pouted. “Is Daddy Shadow gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, Dr. Tails will take good care of him.” I resigned. I couldn’t make her leave if she didn’t want to, I just held Shadow tighter. Hopefully things weren’t as bad as they seemed.

Tails had his medical supplies ready to go, “What happened?” He asked. He held a hand under Shadow’s chin to get him to look up at him, a light pen in the other hand.

Shadow recoiled at his touch and shrank even deeper into me. By then, his body was drenched in sweat. My mind was racing so fast it felt like I could push past into a migraine. “Come on, honey it’s okay. Tails is here to help.” I ran my hand over his head, doing my best to calm him.

Tails sat down next to us, forcing his posture to relax before attempting to get Shadows attention again.

“He was energetic and all over the place and when I talked to him, he just freaked out.” My voice quivered.

Tails got Shadow to look up at him and shined the light into his eyes. Shadow winced in response. I could feel just how ridged his muscles were in my arms.

“Pupils are fully constricted. I need to get him calmed down before we can do anything else.” Tails then reached into his bag, pulling out rubber gloves and a tube of cream, “It’s topical Ativan.” He told me. The fox held onto his professional tone, even as I could see the anxiety burning in the back of his eyes. He switched gloves and with carful, gentle movements, he drew Shadow’s arm away from him. Then applied a pea sized amount and rubbed it into Shadow’s wrist. Within minutes, Shadow’s muscles unwound. He slumped back against the wall, his eyes drooping, and stretched his legs out in front of him. Something in his calm was more like dampened storm clouds in the distance.

Tails took a deep breath and laid himself on the floor. He ripped the rubber gloves off and let loose a groan. “I’m so sorry guys. I really screwed this one up.”

“What even was that?” I eased my grip off of Shadow. He looked over to me as I did it as if I had stolen his blanket.

“I think I can call that a severe acute manic episode.” Tails rubbed his forehead with a now bear hand.

“Don’t blame yourself Tails. You warned me that we had no clue how this would work.” Shadow finally spoke. His eyes struggled to stay open and his head bobbed with each attempt to stay awake.

“I don’t know. I was hoping we could get somewhere if I just jumped right in. I don’t know why I thought we could get away with avoiding testing.” Tails lulled, looking even more dejected.

“I don’t want testing. It requires me to be in those tiny spaces and I just can’t. I don’t need to explain it more than that.” Shadow bumped the back of his head against the wall, his quills splaying and catching the side of my face as he did it.

I grabbed at my face feeling sting where they caught.

“I am so sorry babe.” He turned back to me.

“Nah it’s okay. I can see they haven’t fully relaxed yet.” I gestured to the quills that were more like barbs at this point.

“Yeah, it might take a bit longer for them to relax after that spell.” Tails sat back up, folding his arms over his propped knees. “We should probably keep you at the clinic for observation.”

“That’s a solid no. I am not leaving the house. All I want is to go to bed and be alone.” Shadows cheeks glowed pink.

“At least let me stay and keep a regular vital check on you.” His eyes turned up in the middle.

Shadow rolled his head off to the side. The way he moved it was like he was wet sand, “Fine.”

…

As Shadow rested, I had a conversation with the kids. It was a conversation that I wasn’t ready to have but there was no avoiding it. Maria was already asking questions, and it wouldn’t be long before Zephyr did too. Once I had Jade down for the night, I had Maria and Zephyr lay down in Maria’s bed together. Her bed was larger than Zephyr’s, low to the ground, race car bed. I had them lay next to each other and I sat on the foot of the bed.

“Daddy Shadow is very sick. His brain is acting funny and we are trying to figure out why.” I sighed.

“Is he sick like Auntie Maria?” Maria said.

Zephyr rolled over and tried to play with Maria’s ear only to be swatted back down by her.

“Leave her alone, I swear she is going to beat you up one of these days.” I grumbled at Zephyr. “No,” I then sighed, “not like Auntie Maria. We are going to get Shadow better, okay. Dr. Tails is working very hard to make sure he does.”

“Is Dr. Tails going to live with us?” Zephyr asked. He nearly bounced out of the bed. I had to remind him that it was bedtime, and he had to stay, unless he was heading to his own bed.

“I want to play with Dr. Tails.” He pouted.

“No.”

The kids looked up at me expectingly. I wondered if they had any questions, but they said not a word. Maybe that explanation was enough for them.

After that I decided to carry Zephyr to bed. He wanted to play the game where I wave him around in the air and he pretended to be an airplane. I got him tucked in bed and made sure the both of them got goodnight kisses.

I checked in on Tails one more time before I turned in. He had fallen asleep on the couch with the medical bag on the floor beside him. That poor boy was bending himself backward for us. I would be happy if Shadow set up with another doctor, but I knew why he refused to. Tails was someone he knew, someone he trusted. Trust is something that Shadow didn’t give out easily. I don’t know if this could have been more difficult for any of us. As I turned back to my room, I saw Tails in the corner of my eye and flashed back to our day’s as kids.

I was thirteen when we first met, he was only nine. I had been out on my own for a few years then, since the floods took out my home. I remember how often I would tell myself that I would eventually find my mom and save her. I never did.

I was a loner up until that point. That day I was running as I always did. It was dumb star-crossed luck that I found that poor kid being ganged up on by a bunch of one-tails. And I showed those punks what for. Ever since then he and I have been inseparable. And every time I questioned if my adventures were too much for him, he proved me wrong.

I just hoped that I wasn’t expecting too much of him. 

…

I glared down at the white ceramic plates stacked up in the soapy water. I still had so many dishes left to do but the longer I eavesdropped on Tails and Shadow’s non-conversation, the more my blood boiled. I clenched on the edge of the counter, fighting against my better judgment, but the anger won.

I grabbed a towel and stormed out to the living room where they sat. Tails was nestled in the corner of the couch while Shadow cradled Jade in the rocking chair. Her blue quills burrowed in his white chest fluff.

“You need to let Tails do more testing.” I fumed, feeling my face flush.

Shadow molded into a burning stack of coal, “Whatever happened to you telling me we could avoid testing? I’m tired of telling the both of you no.”

His words infuriated me. I have seen him suffer far to much the past few weeks and he was asking me to not care, “You’re not going to get better unless we figure out what’s going on.”

Tails’ turned up from his tablet, pleading with his eyes, “Sonic, drop it. We can discuss this later.”

His words were a lit match, and I was dried wood, “I don’t want to discuss it later.”

“Calm down, You’re going to wake up Jade.” Shadow’s face twisted in frustration. His voice was so calm and heavy it left me insulted. Was I really acting like a child for wanting the best for him?

I took a deep breath, trying to rein in my emotions. He was right. I couldn’t let my anger disrupt the lives of our children. We owed it to them that sense of safety.

“I’ve been thinking about trying a different approach with the medication. Maybe with some adjustments, we can get better results.” Tails' voice attempted to be a balm.

Shadow’s expression sunk into a smoldering forlorn, “I don’t want to.”

My heart twisted in my chest, “Shadow, please. It’s either the treatment or…or the disease takes your mind. I’m already losing you.”

The room fell into silence, all the weight in the room shifted over to Shadow’s dark form. He could slice a hole in the reality around him with how sharp his quills were. But with each passing moment that sharpness melted away. He pulled Jade closer and looked down at her innocent sleeping face. I could have sworn I saw a hint of tears in his eyes.

“This isn’t just about you, I’m worried about our kids too.” I hammered that nail in.

Shadow’s face smoothed out, his eyes closing as if to resign, “Fine,” He whispered, “I’ll try it again.”

A spark of hope flared to life within me. “I’ll stay with you this time. If things get bad, I’m sure Silver will show up.”

Shadow’s lips curled up into a wry smile, “You’re really going to leave the fate of the world to chance, hoping Silver will bail us out?”

“He’s a good kid. I think he can handle it.” I shrugged.

Shadow’s amusement faded, replaced by a hint of sadness, “I don’t want you to give up on being a hero because of me.”

“You need me, Shads. I’m not about to abandon you again. I already feel bad for not being there before.” My words seemed to placate him. I spotted that gleam in his eyes that I adored so much.

He gave a dark husky laugh, “Well, if the world ends because you’re too busy being a doting house husband…at least we’ll go out together.”

I smiled. This was all the reassurance I needed. And if dark humor was how he was going to cope with it, so be it. I was starting to see the appeal in it myself.

…

New medication, new side effects. While Shadow had his memory back and the Keppra kept his seizures at bay, he was anxious and irritable. He would be restless at night, which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him, but he was only getting about three hours of sleep a night. What bothered him most was the nausea.

I spent the next week cooking for the family. I got as creative as I could, taking pages from Amy’s recipes. That night I made chicken quesadillas for the kids, and Shadow got veggie kababs. I had never seen him touch a thing close to animal products since the day we met. The vegan life isn’t for me, but I respected him for it.

I had poured a lot of effort into the meal, at least for him. He had barely touched a bite in the past three days, and it was scaring me. I thought if I soaked the veggies in an Italian season marinade and got them charred around the edges it would be enough to entice. But as soon as he saw the food being made his face soured.

“I really can’t eat, babe. How about just some soup tonight.” He placed a hand on my shoulder as I overturned the quesadilla on the frying pan.

I folded my ears back, “That’s all you’ve wanted to eat for the past several days.”

“That’s all I can stomach. This medicine is not cutting it for me.” He backed off and leaned against the sink, crossing his arms in front of him.

Him just saying that made my stomach churn, “Maybe it hasn’t been long enough. Tails said that sometimes medications take a while to work with your system.”

“I’m trying to be patient Sonic.” His eyes projected his discomfort, “I just…”

My world stopped for a moment. Something in his tone set me off, there were words he was holding back and I felt like I was drinking acid just guessing what those words were. I pulled the frying pan away from the burner and stepped away.

“What is it, Shadow?” My vision trained on the stove alone, refusing to look up at him.

Heat radiated off of him, “I don’t even want to do treatment, okay? I’m only doing this for you and the kids.”

It would have hurt less if he swung an axe at me. My eyes darted back up at him. “What if this disease kills you?!”

I couldn’t fathom the pain I saw in his face. It was like I watched him rip the mask off, “So what if it does?”

My body wanted to shut down. I stumbled back, desperate for something to catch myself with, “No.” I shook my head.

He closed his eye and let loose a groan, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

It was too late, I was reeling. Two paths emerged before me, I fall into the pit, let my desperation consume me, or I could lash back. I chose the latter.

“No! You’re damn right you shouldn’t have said that! Are you really just going to give up like that? After everything we have been through, and you just look at your life like it’s something you can just throw away?”

“It’s not like that.”

I wanted the anger to help, but it only pushed me further into desperation. Tears were burning my eyes, and I had no control over it anymore. I could only think about getting away, being alone.  Shadow had planted that seed in my mind, and I knew those sharp brambles would continue to grow no matter how hard I fought them. But I was ready with shovel and poison to remove it any way I could.

I slammed the bedroom door shut behind me. Chaos ensued outside the door. Children that I should have been adult enough to put first, but the pain in my chest was far too much to ignore. I buried myself in that bed, under those plum purple covers and wished that this nightmare would go away.