A Blaze of Glory

When I say Shadow looked rough, I mean he looked really rough. This is the same stubborn ass hedgehog I had seen come back from looking like Swiss cheese with bullet holes. And to think this was his birthday, potentially his last, and the only one that he cared to let us celebrate. After watching him fight it out with Sonic, having to do damage control after he yelled at my Ruby, (bless that poor girl’s heart, she didn’t know what she was doing) and then have to sit back while he tried to explain to his own children that he was dying, I and Knuckles had enough.

Just glad my sweetheart had the wisdom to speak up and snap everyone out of their blue. In speaking of blue, he can be so overprotective. Not only was Shadow physically dying, he had some real emotional and spiritual death going on. I had to suggest that we go out and have some fun, just relive the glory days. When we were young and healthy, the world feared us. I just needed to see that flame in those piercing red eyes again.  

So, I told Knuckies to take over with the kids for the night and I packed up that sad sack in my car and we went to hunt down Omega.

When that robot wasn’t hanging out with us, he was typically chasing around, looking for anything that remained of Robotnik’s fleet. Silver must have gotten him caught up in helping out with the world saving business because when we caught up with the big lug of bolts, he was stopping at the maintenance shop designated to him by GUN.

Shadow sulked around like he had been dumped on by a thunderstorm. I had to drag his ass into the shop just to get to Omega. When he saw the robot in a state of disrepair, his demeanor flipped.

“What happened?” Shadow held himself up straight.

Several mechanics bustled around the robot but then were spooked into jumping out of the way when Omega’s head and torso rotated towards us, “I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION.”

“I’m fine.” Shadow did an awful job at lying. When he looked at me, I could see right through to his cracking insides. No one bounces back from telling their kids they are dying that easily.

“I CAN SEE THAT YOUR CHAOS ENERGY OUTPUT IS SIGNIFICANTLY UNDER FUNCTIONING. AND YOUR NEURONS ARE MISFIERING."

Shadow bared his fangs and tucked his head down, “Who thought giving him bio-scanners was a good idea?”

“That would be Towers’ idea. He figured Omega could be more helpful if he knew the health states of those around him.” I placed my hands on my hips and kicked one out to the side.

That hybrid didn’t need to say another word for me to know he didn’t want to have to talk about his disease anymore. It was that simple pleading look he hid behind his attempt at stoicism that I saw.

“I INSIST TO KNOW WHAT THE MALFUNCTION IN SHADOW IS.”

I pouted for a moment feeling a hint of sadness wash up. I didn’t want to have to talk about it either.    

Looking up into the robot's red eyes I gathered my bravery, “Shadow’s sick. He’s got a disease that’s destroying his brain.”

I could see red pooling under his tan fur on his cheeks. I know saying things so bluntly wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but Omega has a hard time understanding organic beings. The simpler the terminology the better.

“IS THE MALFUNCTION BEING REPAIRED?”

The mechanics looked at me in a mixture of confusion and concern and I waved them on to continue the repairs. Sparks flew as soldering guns and welding torches returned to mending torn bits of metal.

Then I looked back at Shadow to see how he was feeling about the conversation, if he was ready to put his two cents in. Shadow hugged himself and took a deep breath. I sorta guessed what he was going to say, but I really didn’t want to hear it, “I don’t want to be repaired.”

“Don’t say that.” I crossed my arms.

He pulled up the corner of his lip and I saw a pain in his expression, “I didn’t want to tell Sonic this, but it’s true. I don’t want to fight the fact that I am dying. I think Sonic knows, he’s just not wanting to accept it.”

“Sweetheart,” My heart cracked down the center, “You just told Sonic that you were going to try to fight it.”

“I want to for him but…you know how much I hated the thought I was immortal.”

I ran to Shadow and gave him a hug. As much as I resented his words, I knew I shouldn’t take his honesty for granted. Even with me, Shadow struggled with honesty. But I always knew one thing, if I wait him out and be patient, eventually he’d open up.

“SO YOU ARE ACCEPTING BEING A FAULTY MODEL LIKE MORTAL MEAT BAGS?” Omega’s tone of voice never truly changed, but the longer you spend time with him, the more you pick up on those subtle nuances. The news bothered Omega.

Shadow bristled in my embrace and broke away from me, “I am not faulty!”

“Shadow! He doesn’t understand.” I reminded him.

The dark hedgehog struggled to calm himself, his fists clutched at his sides. He took a few calming breaths and relaxed, “I never saw being mortal as faulty. All I ever wanted was to live life like everyone else.”

Omega’s eyes flashed as he registered the new information, “HOW IS THIS DOWNGRADE DESIRABLE?”

Shadow turned away, “Coming here was a mistake.”

“Shadow.” I gave a stern, commanding tone, “I understand you don’t want to be immortal, but not fighting the disease and telling Sonic that you will isn’t fair to him.” Then I drooped my ears, “And I am not saying that Sonic was right, but it does feel like you are just giving up.”

 The hybrid turned his head back to me a pained smile pushing up one corner of his mouth, “This isn’t what I wanted. I am just accepting what was given to me. And not being open with Sonic was for his own good. He deserves to have some hope in this.”

“He deserves to be able to stand by your side through all of these decisions.” I scolded.

“It’s my body, my life. Mortals don’t realize it but every day they get to decide whether or not they live or die. Every decision they make holds weight for their own lives.  For once, I get to make that decision.” He folded his head back in away from me.

“So, what are you choosing?” I held one arm at my side.

He turned back to us and I saw a strange smile creep on his face while he pulled his brow in and then met my eyes, “I want to live, in a way I never did before. I want to live life like mortals would, feel the rush of knowing this isn’t permanent, taste the sweetness of the air knowing its rarity. Mortality makes life so much more precious.” His words were bitter like pure dark chocolate, but held a subtle sugar to them

“MORTALITY IS NOT EQUAL TO LIVING, IT IS IN FACT THE OPPOSITE."  

I lifted a brow at Omega and responded to Shadow, “I think you overestimate mortals, dear. We don’t think about dying as much as you do. Most of us are just focused on surviving.”

“It’s what we don’t have that we desire the most, huh?” His eyes smiled, but sadness still lingered.

I sighed, “Enough of the drama, I dragged you out here so that you can remember how to have fun. Sonic probably has you cooped up in the house too much.”

The fire returned to his red eyes, “He hasn’t been keeping me bound, I just don’t want him to worry about me. My illness is stressing him out enough.”

“He’s going to stress out no matter what you do. You said you want to live, right?” I gave him a coy smile.

“HOW ARE WE DEFINING LIVING?” Omega butted in.

“We are defining living by enjoying what life has to offer.” I held my chin up, “What’s the point of living if you can’t enjoy it? Sitting around and suffering isn’t the way to go.”

“LIVING IS EQUAL TO ENJOYING LIFE. LIFE IS EQUAL TO FUNCTIONING. THEREFORE, SHADOW’S MALFUNTION IS THAT HE DOES NOT ENJOY LIFE.”

Shadow returned to his anger and glared at the robot.

“Omega has a point.” I waved a finger at Shadow, “You’ve let this disease define you and now you’re allowing it to limit you. When was the last time you really truly lived?”

“I feel most alive when I am with Sonic.” A wistful gleam sparkled in his eyes.

“Forget Sonic, what do you want? What do you love about living. Maybe if I can get you out of your spiral, you’ll stop planning your own death.” I tapped my foot, waiting for his response.

Shadow looked at us with the most annoyed expression he could muster, “I thought we were just going to gather explosives and blow off some steam.”

“We can do better than that.” I flicked my wrist, palm up at him.

Mr. Broody Mcbroodpants rubbed his face with his hands, “Look, let’s just start with blowing junk up and see how the night goes. But I swear, if you’re planning on us doing something stupid, I’m going to take myself home. I don’t care if using Chaos Control gives me migraines, I am not putting up with that shit.” 

I smiled. Shadow had a way of bluffing. Ever since Shadow and Sonic got married, he’s toned his attitude down considerably. It was like watching a fire turn into smoldering coals. That reckless rebel was in there somewhere. I just had to coax him out.

“I KNOW OF TOP SECRET EXPERIMENTAL INCINDIARY BOMBS LOCKED IN ARMORY.” Omega whirred.

“Omega! You aren’t supposed to announce something like that.” I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“I like his thinking though,” Shadow smirked, “We can just tell them we are testing for them. They don’t need to know what we are really doing.”

“Good point,” I waved a finger.

            …

One armory trip later, waving badges and using our high clearance and charm, we soon had boxes of various explosives. Grenades, C4 packs the works. Shadow sat up front in the passenger seat. Omega crammed his heavy ass in the back seat. I had to get my corvette custom built just so it could bear the large bot’s weight. Honestly, he could travel without us, but I think he liked it better when we were all together. Then he could feel more like one of us

I enjoyed seeing the look in Shadow’s eyes as we drove. Usually, he saw everything with a dull, glazed expression. But while we were out on the highway heading out of the city, everything shown like he was seeing it for the first time. So strange, seeing him happy like that. It was a different kind of happy. One that I can’t quite put my finger on.

We pulled into the junk yard, filthy and grimy as it was, I loved it. The three of us enjoyed coming out here when a mission went awry or we were just bored, or even if the higherups pissed us off, which happened to Shadow more than me. Omega was always pissed off. He never turned down an invite to blow stuff up.

Cars littered the chain linked fenced in space. Old electronics, broken appliances, you think of it, you could probably find some form of big hunk of junk out there. Shadow surprised me at how quick he was to run in and start fucking with stuff. He found an open space and started dragging a washer out into the center.

He was always such a show-off with his strength. Because of that it made it all the more heartbreaking to watch him strain as he yanked the heavy piece of machinery across the dusty ground.

I sighed, “Let me and Omega set it up.”

Shadow stopped pulling the washer and frowned at it. Then that look of disappointment and detection washed out his expression.

“I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

The hybrid burned with the rage I expected from him, “I fucking hate this!” The washer clanged as he kicked the washer, “I hate all of it!”

I pulled my ears back, “You just said that-”

“Forget what I just said!” He bared his fangs at me. He paced, running his fingers through his quills.

“Shadow, sweety…” My eyes started to water watching him devolve into this fit.

His red eyes glanced at me as if seeking permission.

“Just get it off your chest, that's what we are here to do.” I encouraged him.

Omega stood between piles of twisted metal holding a box of supplies we had gathered from the armory. Shadow stormed over to the robot and demanded to see what was inside. Omega dropped his arms, still holding onto the iron box and Shadow reached inside finding a grenade.

I watched as the furious hybrid pulled the pin and threw it with all he could muster. I spread my wings and took flight to watch the explosion from a safe distance.

The grenade bounced inside a blue sedan whose doors barely hung on. Once it landed in the back seat the car burst with flame and force throwing chunks of metal car around the yard.    

Shadow huffed, his chest rising and falling as if he’d over exerted. Then I watched him do it again. Grenade after grenade, he threw them into the yard, catching on various pieces of junk and sending them up in a blaze. At some point he teetered out and I joined his side.

“Save some for me, big boy.” I laughed.

Shadow just stared at the flames that engulfed the area, the light reflected and flickered in his red eyes.

“IS IT MY TURN NOW?” Omega bellowed.

“Use your water tank and put out the fires first before it gets out of hand.” I waved off Omega. The robot set the box of explosives on the ground.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I looked back at the strained hedgehog.

Shadow’s eyes pulled tight at the corners, “This just stays between us, okay?”

“My lips are sealed.” I made a zipping motion over my mouth.

“I’m trying to accept what’s happening to me because I feel like it’s what’s best for everyone. I’m still struggling to accept it, I hate what it’s taking from me.” He tensed, but then closed his eyes and breathed a sigh, “But I lived through this once with Maria, I don’t want to repeat that. And while this isn’t the way I want to die. It’s…” His jaw tightened and brow dropped, “It’s just better this way. I don’t know if I can explain it right.”

“No, I think I get it. But you shouldn’t be comparing your situation to Maria’s.” I went over to the box of explosives and dug out a pack of C4. Omega flew overhead in the distance, dumping water on the items still flaming.

“Why not? It’s a one in a billion disease. One that’s unique to me. There isn’t going to be a cure, and even if there is, it wouldn’t be worth pursuing. At what point do other people start suffering, just to find a cure for me? History repeats itself. Trust me, I know.”

“Uh huh,” I nodded, flying over to the next target that caught my eye, “I’m still listening!” I pointed at my highly sensitive ears.

“No one should have to sacrifice for me. I’m not afraid of dying… I’m…” He struggled with the words.

I taped the pack on the underside of a partially upturned hatchback, then flew back to Shadow’s side to collect the detonator from the box.

“You’re still afraid.” I acknowledged.

“There are worse things than death.” His tone sank deep, overturning bits of my heart at the words.

I found a place to crouch, behind a wall of tin from a dismantled shed and pointed the detonator at the C4, “Get your ass back here.” I gestured to Shadow.

He dragged his feet over to me, the both of us crouched behind the sheet metal.

The pack lined up in my sight. I pulled the trigger. A harsh loud boom threw scrap through the air, causing a wave of heat to pour out towards us. Smoke billowed into the sky.

“There are worse things than dying.” I agreed with him, “Living with regrets is one of them.”

My eyes met his, “Don’t leave me with regrets. You still have so much more life left to live. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering how I could have saved you.”

“It’s not your job to save me. It’s no one’s job to save me.” A hint of a growl crossed his voice.

“You don’t want to be saved, but it’s okay to need people. We all care about you.”

Next, I got out the experimental explosives. These ones came with a launcher. Luckily, I was able to set them into the ammo loader in Omegas back.

“IF THESE EXPLODE INSIDE ME, YOU WILL PAY FOR MY REPAIRS.” He jabbed after a patted his back.

“GUN already pays for all your repairs.” I pointed out.

 “THEN THEY WILL TAKE IT FROM YOUR PAY CHECKS.” Fire ignited under his feet and he flew high above the junkyard. He outstretched his arm and pointed it down at a mountain of scrap. The arm then shifted into a cannon and hummed as it heated up. Several puffs escaped the opening as it shot out several fire balls.

When they landed on the metal it turned into white flame, consuming the scrap it touched, boiling it down like acid.

“Holy shit.” I ran my fingers between my ears.

“It eats metal. That wasn’t explosive.” Shadow said, his jaw hanging slack.

Omega continued scattering the shots around the junk yard, “NO INFIROR MODELS WILL STAND BEFORE ME! I WILL MELT THEM INTO POOLS OF ABJECT DESTRUCTION!”

“Oh, dear Chaos.” I rubbed my temples.

Some of the white fire landed on the ground and began to eat through the soil. Holes opened up in the ground. Shadow’s eyes widened, “Omega! Stop!”

“I WILL NOT BE STOPED!” Omega flew circles shooting several more. The mountain of scrap now looked like a molten mass.

“OMEGA!” I shouted at him.

The robot froze mid-air.

“You are going to destroy the planet with those and that would make Shadow sad. Our goal is to make Shadow happy.” I reminded him.

“BOSS LADY REQUESTS A CHANGE IN PRIORITIES. SHADOW’S HAPPINESS IS THE MISSION.”

“Yes, it is. If Mr. Grumpy pants decides that life is fun, then maybe he will agree to get repairs.” I touted with my nose in the air.

Shadow grumbled some obscenities and insults.

Omega joined at our side.

“And our first stop will be my favorite bar in Central City.” I turned to the both of them.

“I don’t drink. I can’t even get drunk.” Shadow rolled his eyes.

“You never used to be able to get drunk. Didn’t you say you want to live like mortals do?” I teased him.

Shadow stood with his arms crossed. At first, he kicked at the dirt wanting to remain stubborn, but I found his soft spot. That soft spot of his had been growing a lot since the diagnosis. Maybe it was a good thing that I could take advantage of it.

He sighed and smiled at me, “Okay, fine. We can go. Who knows, maybe I’ll like being drunk.”

…

Neon Rings is an interesting hangout, sorta a mix between a bar and club. Very bright, very noisy, not really Shadow’s thing. Colorful lights illuminated the dance floor in the middle of the two story indoor space. The second story was a wraparound loft with varying seating. The lights turned puffs of smoke into colorful billows, and blaring poppy music entertained the patrons. This was a hangout for primarily Mobian’s, very rarely did you ever see a human there. This was the place to be, for at least me anyway.

Before Knuckies and I got married, I considered buying this place and renaming it Club Rouge. But like most things, you grow up and priorities change. Running a club and raising the next generation of echidnas wasn’t something I felt feasible. We only have two kiddos’ now, but I’m thinking we are aiming for a much bigger family soon. Though sweety and I are still arguing over that. He’s trying to convince me we need seven kids. I’m not going to have more than five. He can deal with it.

Shadow scowled at the scene, not liking my choice in venue. He even glared at the topless servers, “Why on Gaia did you think I would want to come here?!” He had to shout over the intense volume of the music.

“Give it a chance.” I twirled back to him, “Besides, this place is huge, and there is a corner for the grumpy old men to hangout at if you want to go pout over there.” I teased.

“Old.” He crossed his arms, “It doesn't make me an old man to want a simple quiet place to hang out at.”

Just on the other side of the club was a lounge, closed off to the rest of the place. While Omega could get inside the main establishment the door to the lounge was only Mobian sized. The robot fussed at the bouncer at the door, “THIS IS DISCRIMINATION. YOU ARE KEEPING ME FROM MY MISSION. MY MISSION IS TO MAKE SHADOW HAPPY.”

The large dog with a buzz cut shook his head disapprovingly.

“Look big guy. You can hangout here and later we can cause more trouble together.” I patted his arm.

Omega whirred, a subtle sign of annoyance.

“Sorry dude,” Shadow gave a finger gun point at the robot, “This part of the bar is too noisy for me.” Then he stopped and looked around the overstimulating scene, “I think I saw a few robot ladies around here, maybe you could strike up a conversation with one of them.”

Omega turned around and laid his bright red eyes on a sleek silver android with female features. She hovered over a group of Mobian’s sitting at a table by the stairway. As Omega locked onto her she must have sensed him because she turned to meet his gaze. Admittedly she was pretty for a robot, must have been a decommissioned S-model from before Starline quit working with Robotnik.

“MISSION UPDATE. ACQUIRE INTEREST OF BEAUTIFUL ANDROID. IS THIS A PART OF THE MAIN MISSION?” he looked back at us.

 “Yes.” Shadow smiled, “I would be happy if you had a lady friend.”

“MISSION UPDATED.” Omega returned to looking at the pretty android and stomped over to her.

Once the two started talking, Shadow and I were allowed into the lounge.

Now this was Shadow’s type of hangout. Dark with low warm lights. Beautiful wooden bar with black leather stools. A row of rounded booths. The rich smell of bourbon and an older, rougher looking crowd.

The bartender, a russet bobcat with black tufts of fur on the tips of her ears gestured for us to sit after setting down the glass she just fixed. A purple lemur took the glass and mixed it without looking up.

Shadow and I took our seats, and the server rested a hand on the bar, “Nice to see you back, Rouge. This must be the titular Shadow you tell us all about.” She pointed at him with an open hand.

The hybrid rolled his eyes, “Really?”

“You are ninety percent of the reason I come here and drink.” I poked at him.

“I find it hard to believe that knucklehead doesn’t give you plenty of reasons.” He folded his arms on the bar.

“Trust me, you are not easy company.” I snorted.

“Oh, I believe you on that. But I don’t think Knuckles is either.” He gave me a sideways glance.

“So, what will you two be having?” The bobcat, Kendra put a hand on her hip.  

“Lemon drop martini for me and a double bourbon and cola for the birthday boy.” I pointed at Shadow with my thumb.

“Well, happy birthday mister.” Kendra smiled at him.

Shadow lifted his brow at her and then scrunched his nose at me, “Bourbon?”

“Oh, come on, you are totally a bourbon kinda drinker.” I eyed him.

He just made a face and accepted the drink when it was handed to him.  I watched him stare into the umber liquid and a deep thoughtful look painted his face.

“You think a lot.” I commented, “And now you have even more to think about.” My tone shifted to one more serious.

He picked up the glass and sipped, smacking his lips at the taste, then he sighed, “I wanted to be the one to have that conversation with the kids. I know Ruby didn’t understand what she was doing but…” He grimaced.

“There was no way you were going to be able to deliver that information to them without it being deeply distressing for everyone.” I reached out to him but he ignored me, still staring at his drink.

“I don’t want to leave them like this. I don’t like seeing the pain this is causing everyone.” He sulked.

“Then fight. Isn’t that what you are about? You don’t let things knock you down or destroy you. You are a lot tougher than that. That’s why this feels like you are just giving up.” I pulled up the corner of my mouth.

Kendra handed me my drink, and I sipped, letting the sour taste calm my anxiousness and frustration.

“This is why I say that I’m trying to keep from repeating the past.” Shadow took a big drink after he said that as if chasing back the negative feelings, “It was bad enough that Maria was sick, it was harder to watch her suffer every time a treatment failed.” His eyes deepened as he looked back to me, “You don’t know what it’s like, listening to a little girl cry and beg to go home knowing full well that she would die if she did. She lost her home, her family, and she never got to have those things back. I wanted so bad to give her those things and I couldn’t.” His jaw clenched, a deeper level of pain than I was used to seeing in him.

Shadow never liked to talk about the things that hurt him. I suppose staring death in the face made him aware of how holding back his feelings strained his relationships.

“I was made for a purpose. At least the purpose I was made to believe I was supposed to serve I failed at. And then GUN wanted to use me as a weapon.” A twisted gleam flashed in his eye, “I certainly made them regret having me made into this. The potential I have. The only reason I held back was for her.”

Shadow downed the rest of the drink, “You're right, this is good.”

“I knew you’d like it.” I swirled my drink and took another sip turning my body fully to him.

“I still find myself fantasizing about destroying humanity. What I felt then was real. It wasn’t just because of the professor’s manipulation. I hated humans.” Then he showed me a solitary fang in a sadistic half grin, “I still hate humans. I just keep reminding myself that for every ten Doctor Robotnik’s, there is one Maria worth saving. Even if there was only one kid out their like Maria, humanity would still be worth protecting.”

Kendra paced back in front of us, “You want another?”

“Yes, please.” He smiled at her, his demeanor already relaxing.

With another drink in hand, Shadow turned his back to the bar, “Fuck.” He cursed in a way that was melancholic, “I am seventy-four years old and spent fifty of those years locked up in a fucking jar being tortured. And now I am having to tell my husband and kids I’m not going to live much longer.”

“I really don’t understand you.” I shook my head and finished my drink.

“This whole situation is fucked no matter how I spin it in my head, Rouge.” He sipped and furrowed his brow at the drink, “Damn, this shit hit’s hard.”

“You are drinking doubles, dear.” I reminded him.”

“I would think that they would be better off if you at least died fighting. As I said before you shouldn’t be comparing your situation to Maria’s. You are not a helpless kid on the ARK. You are Shadow the Hedgehog.” I set my glass on the bar, “You even say so yourself, you are the Ultimate Lifeform.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, I said that a lot when I was newer to the world. Honestly, I resent it now. How is anyone supposed to live up to that title. If anyone is the Ultimate Lifeform it’s Sonic.” His eyes saddened more, “Sometimes I can’t tell how much I love him, or I envy him. The feelings blend together. The twisted fact that I was made in his image before he was even born.” Then he smiled, his eyes squinting with pain at the irony, “And now he’s the light of my life. One of the only reasons I want to live and the thought of living without him is agony. I would have done anything to end my immortality. I just didn’t think it would happen this way.” He took a big swig of his drink, and his muscles relaxed.

This was fascinating. Any time we hung out, I was the one doing most of the talking, now Shadow was eating up the air with his words. It was like I was reading his mind or his journals. His red eyes dodged for a bit before he decided to continue.

“Please,” He begged, “Don’t tell anyone. The only people who know this are me, and Dr. Prower, but I need to tell someone this. It’s eating at me.”

“Lips sealed,” I reminded him.

“Back when Sonic and I were trying to have children, Dr. Prower was trying to help me find a way to become mortal. I didn’t want Sonic to know because I knew he’d jump to the worst conclusions.” He tightened his lips

“You can’t blame him. You have had a history of being self-destructive.” I commented. Kendra came by and offered me another martini.

“That’s because I knew I couldn’t die. It was never serious. Mainly just a macabre way to cope with a fucked-up life.” He folded his elbows to his knees and took another drink, “Point is, that the goal was to make it where I would have the ability to age like everyone else. But Prower couldn’t find away to do it without eliminating my healing factor all together, which would be a straight up death sentence. And not a pleasant one.”

I licked the sugar off my martini glass and felt a twist in my gut as his words sank in, “So, you’d have a way to just commit suicide?”

“Prower wouldn’t agree to it. And I hold nothing against him for it, but at the time it really pissed me off. I hated having a choice being offered and then taken away from me, like he had no clue what emotional whiplash he was putting me through. I explained to him that I wasn’t just going to off myself just because. I have a family to care for. I want to be there for them.” He swallowed as his demeanor darkened, “I still want to be there for them.”

He chugged the rest of his drink and I watched the anger rise inside his searing red eyes, “But he didn’t believe me enough apparently. He thought that I should appreciate my immortality more. It was one thing for him to take that choice from me.” I saw both of his fangs. He took a few deep breaths before getting back into what he wanted to say, “It’s not definite, but it’s likely that Maria has inherited my immortality. Prower extracted part of my healing factor and integrated it into her DNA. Sonic hasn’t witnessed it, but I have. She took a hard fall off the deck stairs when she was three. Banged up her knees and hands. She healed in minutes.” He seethed at the last sentence.

The glass in his hand shattered at how hard he squeezed. He forced himself to calm when he realized the mess he made, “I am so sorry,” He turned back and apologized to Kendra who was serving someone beside us.

“It’s okay, I’ll have someone come sweep it up. Just don’t be starting fights around here.” She lifted a brow at him.

“No promises,” I told her. Then I returned to Shadow, “So he just did that without talking to you or Sonic?”

“Prower told me because he thought if I had someone to live for, I wouldn’t ask him for a suicide pill. I told him not to tell Maria or Sonic because I want Maria to live as normal of a childhood as she can.” He bared his teeth and clenched his fist, “Fuck this, I still feel so betrayed. And now if I die, she’s going to be cursed to live the immortal life that I didn’t want, without me beside her.”

“But-”

“Don’t you dare say another word about how I need to fight!” He pointed a finger at me, “This isn’t about me being weak. This is about choice. I deserve to have that choice and so does she! I have been told my whole Chaos damn life how to live it. I made the choice how to live it. All I want is to be able to choose how to die. And now Maria, my little Maria is going to have no choice but to watch everyone she loves die.”

Shadow wilted, “This is exactly why I didn’t want to have kids of my own. I have passed on my curses to them. What is Black Doom going to do when he shows back up? All of this was a mistake.” Tears dripped from his eyes, “I hate them, I hate everyone. I… I hate myself.”

Oh no. Maybe taking him to drink was a mistake. I held my arms open to him and he looked at me with sorrowful eyes.

“It’s okay if you need a hug.” I encouraged him.

“Fuck you.” He sobbed and leaned into me, “I hate you for making me feel things.”

“It’s not me, it’s the alcohol.” I reminded him.

“Thank you for not judging me.” He buried his eyes in my shoulder.

“You’re dying. Besides, I know what kind of person you are. I accept every part of that.” I rubbed my hands on his back, feeling his quills.

“I wish that I died a long time ago.” He whimpered, “I should have died after falling to earth.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” I comforted him, “Having you beside me has been the most amazing thing ever. We have fun together. Remember before we all decided to settle down and live like adults.” I nuzzled the side of his face.

“We were stupid.” He let out a short laugh.

“We ran this city. The nightlife was ours. Nothing got in our way, and just because we are grown and have families now, doesn’t mean that we can’t do that now.”

Shadow blubbered for a few more minutes into my shoulder and I just patted his back while he got it out.

“Remember what our mission was for tonight?” I said into his ear.

“To have fun?” His voice wined, sounding like a child.

The tone made me smile, “For you to be happy and remember how to love life.” I kissed his forehead.

“Your right.” He sat up, “If I am going to die, I want to make the most of the time I have left.” Shadow spun back to the bar and put up a finger, “I need another.”

“I got a better one for you,” I gave him a coy smile, “How about a game of shots?”

Someone came around and cleaned up the broken glass mess and I asked Kendra to pour us whisky shots.

Three shots later, Shadow didn’t want to play anymore, “Fucken helll” He slurred, “This is shit!”

“Dang, this disease really has you a light weight.” I mocked him. Times before when we drank, he probably only sipped on a glass and had no reaction. Now Shadow looked at me with silly lazy eyes.

“I don’t feel sick anymore, thast a good thing.” He let loose a burp, “It’s my birthday, I should act like it.” He sat himself up.

I smiled, putting my elbow to the bar and putting my forehead into the tips of my fingers. I was in for one.

Shadow stood up and tried to get everyone’s attention. When they didn’t immediately look at him, he decided to climb on one of the tables, disturbing a couple of the patrons and getting confused and alarmed glances.

All eyes landed on him. Kendra looked ready to freak out but I stopped her, “Let this play out, I want to see what he does.” I held my hand up to her.

“Seventy-four years ahgo, I came out of a fucking tube. And you know what? Everyone sseems to think that counts as a birth.” He blinked and looked around at everyone gathering their reactions, “Whell I guess it’s my Chaos damn birthday huh?”

A few rather drunk patrons decided to cheer for him and he bowed and thanked them, almost stumbling.

Shadow then rubbed at his face for a minute before deciding what he wanted to say next, “Not only is it my birthday. But I am dying.” He jabbed a finger to no one in particular.

“Aren’t you Shadow the Hedgehog?” A squirrel sitting at the table he was standing on asked, “I thought you were immortal?”

“Not anymore,” He looked down at her, struggling to keep his eyes in one place, “Some asshole at GUN probably fucked me up because they hhad no clue what they were doing. Pieces of shit.” Then he crouched to look her dead in the eyes, “I was in stasis for fifty fucking years, and the only rheason it doesn’t leave me in the looney bin is because I barely remember the things they did to me.”

Once he was down, he decided to sit on the table.

The mood of the joint turned dark as everyone watched him sulk.

“Since when did this start?” Kendra asked me, worry in her voice.

I frowned, “Back in May. He’s still processing it… We all are.” Sadness caked my insides leaving me feeling yucky.

“How abouht this?” Shadow spoke again, “Who wants to make bets on how much longer I live?”

“Shadow! What the hell?!” I whipped back to him.

He just gave me the biggest shit eating grin, “I’m just making the best out of a bad situation.” Then he got back on his feet and stood up again, “Kendra! Make me another one of those bourbon and cola’s. I got to make this anhounsmant right.”

“Should I? He’s pretty plastered.” She whispered to me.

I pursed my lips and thought about it. Then shrugged, “He might not get another birthday. Let him go wild.”

Kendra poured him another and Shadow sipped the drink before returning to his table top speech, “I am one of the founders of the Maria Robotnik Foundation. Our goal is to lobby for laws that ensure ethichal research. That means, we put an end to animal testing. And hold research and facilities accountable, for suffering caused.” He took another sip and used his wrist to wipe drink off his lip, “But no one gives a shit anymore so no one donates and we keep losing lawsuits. So here is what I propose. Everyone, including this establishment, lay down bets on when this fucker,” He pointed at himself, “Is going to drop dead. And if I win the bet, all the winnings whill go to the foundation.”

“That’s not fair,” A gruff looking beaver protested, “You’re the one who’s dying, what if you decide to make it end sooner.”

“Nope.” Shadow pointed and gave the guy wild eyes, “Because I ain’t in control of this shit. Someone hand me a knife.”

“Oh Chaos,” I buried my face in my hands, “Please don’t do anything stupid,” I looked up at him and pleaded.

“Hi’m not doing anything stupid, I just want to prove a point.” A burly racoon handed him a switch blade, and he sat his drink down on the table. Then Shadow pulled the knife on his arm and sliced a good chunk out of it, “Look at that bitch bleed.” He gawked at it.

Everyone stared at the wound. It took longer than it should have but the cut healed in front of our eyes, “See. I can’t rig it, if I can still heal like that.” He waved the knife around and bent down to pick up his drink again. Then the racoon took the knife back.

“So, who’s up for a bit of gambling?” He raised his glass for everyone to see, “To mortality! What makes life truly precious. Memento mori!”

“Memento mori!” The patrons joined the toast, most of whom could barely repeat the words.

Shadow threw back the drink and downed it in a few gulps. Then he about dropped on the floor trying to get off the table. I had to get up and catch him to keep him steady.

“All bets will be kept by Rouge here.” He pointed to me.

“Oh, just dump it on me would you?” I grumbled at him, “I don’t even want you playing these games.”

“Honey, sweety,” He leaned against the bar and I stood beside him, “Everyone dies. I’m just a part of it now.” He hickuped and then burped, “Yep, the natural cycle of life. The way things should be. Fuck.” He planted his head on the wood, “I’m too drunk.”

“Yes, you are.” I shook my head, “let me have Kendra get you a glass of water.”

Shadow got his glass of water, and I found several people coming up to me and making generous bets. Any upfront cash went to the bar. A few patrons asked me to just simply make the money a straight donation. I wasn’t about to tell Shadow though. He cared about playing the game and if he knew people were just donating because they felt bad, he’d raise hell.

By the time I had all the bet’s for the night, it came out to roughly 10k. I was impressed.

I wrote everyone’s guesses and amounts down on a few cocktail napkins and stuffed them in my back pocket.

Shadow drank his water and remained still for a very long time looking over to me. Once I gathered up the nerves I decided to ask, “What are you betting?”

“August 28^th,” He let loose a heavy sigh, “At this rate, I don’t see me making it to the end of the summer.” His eyes blinked slowly. The clouds that hovered over his red irises left me unsettled, “I’m okay with this.”

His words were so quiet. Was he talking to me? Or himself?

“Shadow, all this is doing is fueling your desire to not try.” I folded my arms, struggling with the pain in my chest.

“It’s what’s best. I made up my mind.” Then he put his lips to the wood and blew raspberries.

Kendra came and checked on us while we stewed in the silence.

“I’ll get a double gin. Just ice.” I requested.

“I’m so sorry you two.” Her eyes pulled up in the middle.

“Don’t.” Shadow held up a finger, head still on the bar, “No pity. Absolutely no pity party. If this is going to be my last birthhday I want to have some fun. No one is allowed to be sad for me.” He pried his face off the table and looked at me, “Don’t be sad. Just don’t. This is what living is. I am,” He hickuped, “More alive now then I have ever been. And we are going to rule the night, just like we did before all this adult stufff.”

If grief was a creepy forest path, he was dragging me through it, no slowing down or hesitation.

“Let’s find a billboard and repaint it to say Fuck GUN.” He snorted, “This shit’s all their fault anyway.”     

…

After that Shadow passed out. I sat and sipped on my drink debating on how I was going to get the sad sack home. Once I finished my drink I went over and scooped the poor boy up in my arms.

“Are you sure you can handle him?” Kendra smirked at me.

“It’s no biggy. I fly around with this guy on the regular. I’ll just get him home back to his hubby and he can rest up.” I smiled in return.

“You’ve had a lot to drink. You better not be driving.” She then scolded.

“I got Omega with me, he can take care of that.” I reassured her.

Kendra shook her head and wished us well.

As soon as I got out the door with Shadow, the sound of the dance floor’s blasting music caused him to stir. He groaned and blubbered into my arm for a minute before returning fully to consciousness. His red eyes shot wide up at me, “Where’s Omega?”

“That’s what I was just about to find out.” I told him.

“Put me dhown. I can still whalk.” He fussed before rolling out of my arms, air shoes clanking against the floor, “OMEGA! YOU FAT CAN OF BOLTS!” He stumbled and flailed his arms looking for the robot.

The robot hovered into view with the pretty robot in his arms, “PRESENT. I HAVE ACQUIRED THE BEAUTIFUL ANDROID.”

“Mother fuckin tin can.” Shadow looked up to see the pretty bot.

She turned her head down and light blue eyes gleamed at us, “This must be your team of sentient organics. It is pleasant to meet you. It appears that they are intoxicated. Shall I provide supplements, hydration, and stimulants?”

“I know this guy needs it.” I pointed at Shadow. As I watched Shadow slouch stand, I noticed how hard it was to focus on him. Yeah, I definitely needed it too.

“I don’t know you.” Shadow attempted to sneer, but his expression failed to follow, “How do I know I can trust you?”

Omega let her go and she settled to the ground on her feet in front of us, “I am Sylvia, previously referred to by my identification code SYL-0228. My purpose is to provide first aid to sentient organics. I am here joined by my team of sentient organics,” She gestured to a bear, an iguana and a rabbit that still sat at the table we originally saw them. The three waved with varying levels of enthusiasm.

“I have been encouraged by my team to go experience ‘fun’.” She returned her attention to us.

“Welp, you found the right crew.” Shadow went to lean on her shoulder and she grabbed him and forced him to stand up straight.

“I was originally built for the purpose of providing repairs to the Eggman-Starline Armada. Then my new mechanic Leaf,” She gestured to the iguana, “Readjusted my programming so that I can repair organic life.”

A window revealed in her chest and a clear canister dropped behind it. Then a semi-clear liquid filled the can and the window opened for her to remove the container and hand it to Shadow.

He sniffed it suspiciously after taking it, “What is it?”

“A combination of vitamins, electrolytes and minerals mixed in water. This will help with the intoxication.” She explained. “I, however, cannot seem to find a solution to your mental deterioration.”

Shadow drank the concoction and flipped her off at the same time.

“I do not understand the response of this rude gesture.” Sylvia dropped another container and made a drink for me.

“He doesn’t want to talk about it.” I took the drink from her and drank. It was slightly sweet, like water sprinkled with artificial sweetener.

Shadow didn’t drop the drink until it was empty, “Oh, I’ll talk about it.” He handed back the glass and brought his hand up. In a flash of green he reappeared on the loft looking down from the balcony.

“Damn it, Shadow! You are just going to make yourself more sick!” I shouted after finishing my drink.

He ignored me and started yelling into the noisy space. After a while of shouting the noise turned down and all turned to him, “Thank you for your attention!” The drink didn’t stop him from being drunk, “Everyone thought I was immortal right? Well, not anymore!” He leaned on the railing and looked down at everyone, ending his gaze on us, “I’m dying.”

The silence was uncomfortable as hell.

“And guess who’s to blame!”

Adrenaline sobered me. I threw my wings open and caught up with him, “Shut!” I growled at him.

His jovial expression turned irritated, “You know it’s their fault.”

I landed beside him and turned back to the patrons and servers, “Please, go about your business. I’m sorry for the interruption.”

Music started to play again but not as loud this time. Curious and confused ponderings bounced back and forth between people. I grabbed Shadow and cursed at him, “You can’t be so loud about this being GUN’s fault.”

“What, I already told people…” His eyes returned to a lazy glaze.

“It’s one thing when you are saying it supposedly happened, it’s different when you are outright blaming them.” I used both hands to rub my forehead.

Shadow slumped on the railing, “You know they did it.” He grumbled.

I joined him, folding my arms, “I don’t know for sure.”

He turned his head up and gave me a side eye, then returned to his sulk, “I know you well enough. You are digging through files already.”

I sighed, “I’ve only started sifting. I haven’t gotten very far.”

“Please. I don’t need you digging. It’s not going to fix anything.”

“If we had answers, maybe it would.” I suggested.

Shadow and I stood watching over the people dancing. Taking in the smells of smoke and liquor as lights and music dazzled the space. Omega and Sylvia danced together like silly middle aged parents chaperoning a high school dance.

“Can we still commit vandalism?” Shadow perked up.

 “Yeah, why the hell not.” I smiled at him.

It was a special kind of smile we shared, that went deeper than the friendship that we held all these years. I felt like Shadow was seeing my soul, really letting me know how much he cared about our time together. It felt right, even when everything should be wrong.

            …

We gathered our robot and asked Sylvia if she wanted to hang out. She said she’d pass. Omega’s constant talk of destruction and committing crimes was not something she was interested in doing.

I felt sober…enough…so I insisted on driving. That corvette is my baby. Hell, I wouldn’t even let Shadow drive it. And just as I had promised, the nightlife was ours. Top down, wind in our fur, the warm June air tickled our insides. I rebelled against the speed limit and tore through the city streets. All became a blur of lights and sounds as we disrupted the world around us. Towering buildings and winding roadways became our playground. Streetlights reflected off of windows and neon signs illuminated the way. A few times I caught eye of the authorities and slowed down.

Shadow threw a hand on my shoulder, “Look!”

He pointed at a billboard that had mostly faded, hanging above several dilapidated buildings. It was one for Starline Industries. For a while the platypus tried selling his tech after splitting off from Eggman but the venture didn’t fly. Humans easily bought into the fancy gismos and robotic companions for a short time, but us Mobian’s were already onto the game. Once the tech started retaliating it didn’t take long for Sonic and the rest of us to shut the operation down.

Now all that remained of the doctor was remnants. The portrait of the platypus’ face smiling on the sign just begged to be painted over.

Shadow wanted to teleport. I didn’t let him. Omega already kept a stash of spray paint cans in one of his compartments. He told me it was because he had his own reasons for having them. Not to be disclosed apparently.

Omega flew Shadow up to the billboard since I didn’t feel like carrying him this time. Once the three of us were at the sign we got to work.

I put a gaudy mustache and makeup on the platypus. Shadow painted in as big of letters as he could FUCK GUN, which I still questioned his judgment on. Omega painted hearts that said SYL-0228. By the time we were done Shadow was woozy from the fumes. He plopped down on the ledge and returned to his sulk.

Trying to get him out of this depression was a difficult as ever, and I couldn’t blame him. Even then, the alcohol buzz was wearing off and I’m sure he was feeling it.

“You feeling okay?” I asked him.

He gave me a fake smile, “Yeah, just a little lightheaded is all.”

“The night’s still young, is there anything else you want to do?” I asked.

“How about we stop somewhere for another drink and drive around some more. I’m really enjoying the night air.” A wistfulness returned to his expression.

So back on the road. Another bar. Several rounds of shots. And when we got back to driving Shadow beamed the whole time. He let the rush of air tear through his quills, yelled at other drivers on the road, even at one point howled at the moon as it crept behind thick black clouds.

Together we enjoyed rock music that carried nostalgia of our angst filled youth. Shadow’s red irises dazzled in layers of light. His smile felt so warm and familiar, like a much-needed hug. I enjoyed seeing his spark so much it got me ignoring the speed limit all together.

One rough corner we tore around and next thing we knew, red and blue lights came on behind us.

“Fhucken shit!” Shadow slurred.

“Don’t worry, I’ve outrun the police before.” I winked at him.

Adrenaline picked up and I slammed down on the gas. First, we had to get out of the tight city corners. Each turn jolted the cars’ weight as we picked up speed. I had to over-correct to keep all four wheels planted, “Omega, you have to ditch, your weight is slowing us down.” I ordered

Omega stood and jumped, throwing his thrusters on and ascended into the air..

Flashing lights cast on brick buildings grew closer by the minute. Sirens echoed down the street. Omega took flight and left us. Shadow shook a fist at the cruiser behind us.

“I can go knock him out,” Shadow suggested, pointing a thumb in the cruiser’s direction.

“No,” I scolded.

“Too late.” He teased.

In a blip he disappeared and in the rearview I saw the cruiser veer off to the side and pull to a stop. When Shadow returned, he grabbed at his head and groaned.

“You need to cut it out, you are tempting fate.” I warned, twisting around another corner as several more cop cars appeared.

“I MUST ELEMENATE THE THREAT.” Omega flew overhead.

“No one gets hurt,” I reminded the robot, “We are just trying to break out of their sight.”

The road dropped into a steep hill and sent my stomach into my chest. The road opened up into four lanes. Cars honked, and people screeched to a stop.

“Just hold them off.” I instructed Omega.

The robot sent waves of yellow electricity out of his fists, stopping cop cars as they approached. Each time he hit a car it let out a boom, and all power ceased in the vehicle. Sometimes a car would swerve into a building or another car causing chaos to ensue in our wake.

Shadow bent over holding his head between his knees. The sound of raw misery emanated from him.

“I swear to Chaos if you vomit in my car, you will lose that bet and die tonight.” I cut up an exit ramp and entered onto the freeway.

“I’ll,” He hick-upped, “I’ll be fine.”

Once on the highway I had all the space I needed to make distance, weaving in between cars on the six-lane. Road rage and shock took everyone we passed.

Here was the fun part. We had them in expectation of where we were going, I just had to keep down this road till they wasted their resources on setting up a blockade.

The city night became a thrill ride. The road, a roller coaster. I planned to make a jump down an exit ramp before we got to the edge of the city.

The sound of whapping chopper blades twitched my ears.

“Rouge, you’re not going to make it.” Shadow caught on to my plan. He sat up and held his eye. “I need to teleport us out.”

“You are already starting on a migraine. I am not going to let you make it worse.” I fussed.

Omega stopped several more cars, lighting up the night with yellow lights. I felt Shadow’s eyes stare holes into the side of my head.

“I can make it, trust me.” I growled at him.

Road construction came up on the road. Cars backed up to a near standstill. I bared down as I plowed into the unfinished road. Cones rammed along the front and a hard thump hit as we moved to an uneven lane. The torn asphalt rumbled underneath us.

“You’re damaging the car, you can’t keep going down this road!” Shadow’s voice grew more heated. I felt rocks jut up into the underside of the caddie. The broken road scraped a few times on the sides of the black paint, and I winced. The spotlight of the helicopter grew closer. I felt Shadow’s hand on my shoulder.

“Please don’t do it.” I begged him.

I looked over to see sad eyes and a cheeky smile. A clash of expression that jarred what little bit of resolve I held left.

Green flashed around us and for a moment I was weightless, only to feel the yank of gravity once Shadow sent us down. Stationary, in a dank dark alleyway. No light, no sound, and just the sensation of my head spinning from the jump in space time.

 My eyes found Shadow. At first he smiled, seeming quite proud of himself. Then what little color he had in his face washed out. He fumbled for the door handle. I unlocked it for him. He barfed all over the ground. The pungent smell of alcohol mixed with stomach acid and the potato salad I made earlier twisted my gut.

I buried my head in my hands and waited for him to empty his stomach. When he was done, he turned back up to me, using his arm to wipe off his face, “Sorry about that.” He shut the door behind him.

I didn’t respond, feeling uneasy and angry at the situation. At everything.

“Rouge, you said tonight was about having fun.” He reasoned.

“I know!” I snapped.

“You always say that Sonic is overprotective, and now that I am sick you are turning into him.” He met my anger, “Can’t I just forget for a bit that I have this disease? Everyone keeps reminding me tonight and…” He trailed off.

“Shadow,” Tears formed in my eyes, “None of us want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you.”

“It’s going to be hard for everyone.” Shadow sighed.

I watched in the corner of my eye as he rested his head in his hand and elbow on the car door. Then his anger bubbled and flickered. His muscles twitched. Then he snapped.

“FUCK!” He punched my dashboard, leaving a slight crack.

Tears blurred my vision as I looked up to him. He was crying as well.

His lips trembled as he looked at me. He took a few false starts before he continued, “Can you keep this between us?”

“Yeah,” I sniffed.

“I don’t want to die.” His voice broke, “I’m trying to make the best decision for everyone. It’s like I said to Sonic, some things aren’t meant to be fought but… I’m scared.”

“Oh, Shadow…” I moaned, the two of us wrapped each other in our arms and let loose all our sorrow.

Once I calmed, I gathered my thoughts, “Why don’t you want Sonic to know?”

Shadow exhaled and pulled away from me, not meeting my gaze, “If he knew I was scared, it would stress him out more. I’ve already come to the conclusion that death is my best option.” He pulled his lips tight, “My memories are already fading. The treatments that Dr. Prower offer only temporarily alleviate the symptoms. Any other treatments would be too risky and.” He closed his eyes and sighed, “I just don’t want to suffer. I don’t want to lose myself.”

“THERE YOU TWO ARE.” Omega’s voice boomed from behind us, “IT SEEMS WE HAVE FAILED THE MISSION. SHADOW IS SAD.”

“I know.” I sighed, rubbing a hand on Shadow’s back, “Look, Shadow, I know you don’t want me to meddle, but give it a chance. If I can get answers about how you got this disease, maybe we can reverse it.”

He gave a dark chuckle, “Maybe it’s my pessimism, but I highly doubt that it will give us anything.” Then his eyes met mine, “Just don’t do anything too stupid, okay?”

“IF WE ARE LOOKING FOR SOLUTIONS TO SHADOW’S MALFUNTION, MAY I SUGGEST AN UPGRADE?” Omega jumped in front of the car, “SHADOW HAS AN ARTIFICIAL SOUL AND IT CAN BE TRANSFERRED TO A NEW BODY. WE CAN CLONE HIM.”

“NO! No clones.” Shadow bristled. His eyes dodged as though he was about to have a panic attack.

I attempted to calm him, “Shadow, it’s okay-”

“It’s not okay,” He struggled to catch his breath, “No, we are not doing clones.” He muttered to himself until he calmed down.

Once again, we were back in the uncomfortable silence.

“I wasn’t the only Shadow.” He finally explained, “When Professor Robotnik created me he created several others. It was only a matter of sheer luck he got me correct. I watched so much needless suffering. I…” Shadow winced and held his forehead, “These are not memories I want back, but they keep cropping up.”

“How about a distraction.” I gritted my teeth. This night just didn’t stop getting worse. “We are supposed to be having fun right?”

“CORRECT. ARE WE RESUMING THE MISSION?” Omega inquired.

“Yes, we are.” I did my best to pull out my positive energy, “Can you go make sure we lost the police?” I asked the robot.

Omega saluted me and flew back up over the buildings.

“Okay,” I turned back to Shadow, “You want to… eh..” I struggled to figure out how to continue, finding Shadow increasingly hard to read.

“I’m tired.” Shadow sulked, “I’m tired of everyone being sad, and feeling sorry for me. I’m tired of being afraid and hurting people. I know that death is inevitable, I just want everyone to make the effort to accept it like I am.”

I filled my lungs and pushed the air out of my nose, “How about we reframe our goal for tonight. If this really is going to be your last birthday, how about we find something fun to do that you haven’t had the courage to do so because of the consequences.”

Shadow gave me a devious grin, “Okay, after everything we’ve done tonight, I’m game. How about we pull a prank on Commander Towers?”

“That sound’s like a plan, what were you thinking?” I asked.

Shadow looked far too pleased, “I want to teleport his house to the other side of the city. Put him in a new neighborhood.”

“You’re insane.” I pouted.

“THE VICINITY IS CLEAR. WILL THIS PRANK ON TOWERS COMPLETE THE MISSION OF MAKING SHADOW HAPPY?” Omega said as he returned.

“Yes, yes it will.” Shadow gave a smug grin.

“Fine, but you realize that I will likely get the brunt of the consequences for this.” I grumbled.

“You don’t mind taking the consequences. You’ve done it before, and Towers has forgiven us.” He folded his hands behind his head.

“Are you still feeling drunk?” I asked.

“A smidge.” He held two fingers like he was pinching the air, “I think that car chase sobered me up quite a bit.”

“Well before we get to Abe’s house, I want to make a stop at HQ.” I told him.

“You do whatever, I’m going to take a nap and when I wake up we better be at Towers’. I hope he wakes up. I’d love to see his face. For all the shit he put me and Maria through as kids, and then blaming me for the ARK incident, this is just a small payback and something to remember me by.” Shadow closed his eyes. He looked comfortable for the most part, but I could still see the hint of a grimace. That migraine was already giving him enough trouble, and he was just asking for more pain just for a prank. Luckily, I had a plan.

We crawled through the streets for a while avoiding any sign of cruisers laying in wait. Eventually I came around to HQ and parked in the back of the city block sized building. With Shadow semi-unconscious I took my backrooms rout, entering from a window on the top floor whose locks I always make sure to leave loose at the end of the workday. I moved around security measures with memorization and ease. And finally I ended my journey in the evidence locker.

Within locked drawers, I picked with a bobby pin I kept taped on the underside of the metal table in the room, I found several vials and needles. A little something to ease Shadow after his big prank of sorts.

Before I left the room something caught my eye. A scuff on the floor behind one of the corner tables, beside a filing cabinet. It wasn’t something that I could say for certain, but it appeared to be an oil spot with a distinctly square shape. There was no reason for there to be an oil stain in this room. It could only mean one thing: Someone else was snooping in here.

I shrugged it off and decided I would investigate that later.

…

We all arrived at Abraham’s house. I had to shake Shadow to wake him. Abe’s house was a two-story beautiful mid-century style home with a well-groomed lawn in one of the rich neighborhoods. Shadow gleamed when he saw the massive object he was bound and determined to move.

He struggled to get out of the car a bit and I could tell exhaustion was getting to him.

“Are you sure you want to do this? You look rough, sweety.” I asked him.

“Rouge,” He straightened himself up and posed in front of the house, “I am not leaving this world quietly. I want everyone to know me for who I am now, spit fire and venom. Strong. Unstoppable. Rouge,” He met my eyes with earnestness, “This is my blaze of glory. This is how I burn out. This is my mark on the world.”

I thought about his words and found myself a tad confused, “There is a lot of evidence to your existence. I don’t think anyone will forget that. The ARK, the damage to the moon, Sonic, your children.”

“This isn’t about legacy.” His brow pulled in, “I know I will have a lasting legacy. This is about showing that no matter what, I will not be snuffed without a fight.”

“Still confused.” I scratched behind my ear, “You aren’t fighting to live.”

“I am fighting to live. Fighting to live authentically me. I thought that’s what this night was about.” He returned my confusion.

“I just wanted you to love life enough to want to keep living.” I smirked.

“My life never meant more than my identity.” He spread his arms, “No disease is taking that from me. Just like you said, I was letting it define me. I’m not doing that anymore.” With that he turned around and walked up the path to the steps up to the front door.

“Okay, Towers, let’s see how you like living in a lower income neighborhood. Stuck up, rich ass commander.” He pressed his hands against the door, and in one of the biggest flashes of Chaos Control I have seen him use since the Black Comet, he took the house, my car, me and Omega.

We reappeared in a park. The surrounding houses weren’t nearly as nice as Abe’s. And his house barely stayed up right as it had a mound of earth underneath it. My car came down with a thud and the alarms went off. Once I gained my bearings I found Shadow. He curled up on the porch floor, his face twisted in agony, holding back a scream. I ran to him and got down on the porch to hold him in my arms.

Shadow struggled even as I placed his head into my chest. Soon Abe burst out the door to see the commotion, “What on earth?!” He started yelling.

His heterochromatic eyes found us on the ground. It was strange to see the commander out of uniform and instead in blue and white striped pajamas.

Shadow let out a pained sob, his muscles straining as he tried to will the pain to go away.

“What are you two doing? Shadow should be at home. Does he need to go to the hospital?” Abraham struggled to balance his anger and concern.

“NO!” Shadow let loose a guttural growl.

I sighed and looked up at Abe with sad eyes, “He wanted to have some fun by moving your house and now he’s being reminded,” I glared at Shadow who was in too much agony to care, “Why that was a bad idea. Hold on.”

Abraham got down on our level and I handed Shadow over to him. Then I went back to my car to get the drugs I had acquired.

Shadow tossed in Abraham’s lap. I produced the baggie.

“What is that? Did you get that from… You know what, don’t tell me. I’m not going to risk being made an accessory.” Abe pulled Shadow in and petted his head while I sat down with the drugs.

“It’s Angel’s Tears. Very high opium content.” I opened the bag and pulled out one of the vials and a fresh syringe I had grabbed from the research department while I was at HQ, “He’s having intense migraines. I have been trying to help him cut loose tonight but it’s only resulted in him acting like an idiot.”

“WE ARE NOT EXEMPT FROM BEHAVING IDIOTICLY.” Omega added.

I drew from the vial and gave a sneer at Omega.

Abraham continued comforting Shadow with running his aged hands through Shadow’s quills and I prepared the shot to go in the crook of his arm. I tied a tourniquet around his upper arm to force a vein to become visible under the dark fur.

Angel’s tears?” Shadow grimaced at the syringe, “Why would I want you to inject me with Maria’s tears?” He attempted to laugh at his own joke only for it to come out as a hiss.

I poked the needle in and pushed the drug into his veins, “This should kill the pain. I really didn’t want to have to do this, but you are so stubborn.”

“You love that about me,” He gave a pained laugh.

We lingered on the porch while we waited for Shadow to relax.

“How is everything?” Abe wondered, melancholy stitched into his voice.

“Not good. Shadow is convinced he doesn’t have any other choice but to accept that he’s going to die. I… We have been trying to help him, but you know how Shadow is. He thinks he doesn’t need help. He doesn’t want help.” I watched as Shadow sank into a deep unconsciousness.

“I wish there was more I could do for you all.” He continued to pet Shadow and the dark hedgehog purred as he slept.

“You don’t need to get involved, Commander. I don’t want to risk your career because we are meddling in affaires.” I looked up at him.

“You’re looking for information on Project Shadow, aren’t you?” He asked.

 I nodded, “The less you know the better.”

“I understand. I just hope that you find what you’re looking for. Shadow has had a hard enough life as it is. I was happy for him to finally get married, settle down, have a family. He could finally move on from his past.”  Abe scratched behind Shadow’s ear.

“That’s the problem. It seems like Shadow’s past won’t let go of him.” I frowned.

The commander and I watched Shadow sleep for a bit before Abe decided to take a look around, “So this was his idea of a prank, I assume?”

“Yeah, a bit outlandish.” I smirked.  

“Shadow has a way of making himself known. I’m not happy about it, but I’ll let it slide.” Then his face turned serious, “But the cost for returning my home is coming out of your paycheck and Omega’s repair bill.”

I huffed and then sank into acceptance, “Fine, I have ways to supplement my income anyway.”

Abraham shook his head.

I returned the drugs to the glove compartment of the car and came back to collect the sleeping hedgehog.

“I’m going to get his ass home so he can sleep it off. I just hope he remembers how much fun we had tonight.” I said as I carried Shadow to the car.

“Tell the family we are thinking about them. And if there is anything we can do to help, I can make sure it happens.” He rubbed his knees before prying himself back into a standing position.

“I’ll tell them. But don’t worry about us. Shadow’s tired of being the subject of sadness and pity.”

As I placed Shadow down in the back seat, Omega looked at me in a way that seemed confused, even for his lack of expression.

“DID WE COMPLETE THE MISSION?” He asked.

“Yes. Shadow is happy.” I gave an exhausted smile to both the robot and the hedgehog who smiled in his sleep.

“MY BATTERY STORES ARE LOW. I SHALL RETURN TO THE WEARHOUSE FOR CHARGING.” Omega took off after saying those words.

It was only Shadow and I. I never felt so exhausted. Mind, body and soul drained and yet I still had one last thing I needed to do, make sure this boy got home to his loving husband.

I drove over the bridge on the way home. The one that Shadow stood on and declared his need for revenge. Those days came back to me in bittersweet waves. I never expected him to have such a good heart when the Doctor broke him out. It didn’t take long for me to see that good heart either.

How much longer did we have to be with this wonderful heart?