April Fuels Practical Yolks

“Oh my god.” Silver sounded horrified and his brow pinched in adorable concern. “Did they get suspended?” He placed a hand on the stainless-steel benchtop and leaned forward, as if to give Sonic solace he didn’t need.

Sonic snorted ruefully. “Nah, not even close. I got arrested for sending them both to the hospital and spent the night in the parish clink. I could hear my mom screaming at the Sheriff all night.” He shrugged. The motion pulled on his freshly laundered lab coat, shifting it over his hoodie. Prower Laboratories maintained the highest standards of cleanliness, so Sonic was required to don a clean coat every day. The laundry bill must have been ginormous.

Silver straightened. “That’s messed up.” For some reason that eluded Sonic, the pale hedgehog managed to look both dastardly handsome and pancreas-curdlingly cute at the same time in his sharply tailored suit. It was still hella lame he had to wear a tie, but Sonic would allow it give how suave Silver looked with the cloth length tucked into his vest.

“Yeah, true that, but that’s just how shit is sometimes, right?” Sonic shrugged, again. He hadn’t been gunning for sympathy and began regretting telling Silver in the first place. “The whole town turned out against those assholes though. It got so bad the St. Johns just packed up and moved. I figured that was the end of it until recently.”

“Aren’t you worried?” Silver straightened from his lean on the benchtop.

“Worried about what?” Sonic’s brow arched with genuine curiosity.

Silver chortled. “How do you do that?” He approached Sonic, gently grabbing his hips, bringing their chest flush. Danger! Shut up, dude, don’t ruin this.

“Do what?” Sonic leaned in, brushing their noses together. Sure, he was being a bit intentionally obtuse, but that was part of his charm. His brand, almost. See, Sonic wasn’t completely unself-aware, he just generally liked the direction he was going. He was comfortable in his own skin even when he was rambling himself off a cliff and that confidence was also part of his charm. Damn, Sonic was just all sorts of charming.

“Nothing sticks to you.” Silver’s eye lidded, getting his ass charmed off. “It’s like you’re Teflon.”

“What can I say?” Sonic leaned in, capturing Silver’s lips in a quick kiss. “I'll never look back.” Another quick peck on the peak of Silver’s cheek. “I've got no regrets.” One on the tip of his nose. “'Cause time doesn't wait for me.” Now on the jawline. “I choose to go my own way.” Lips again, just a quick, playful nip at the supple flesh. “And I choose to live in the present with you rather in the past.”

Sonic finished off his (frankly) romantic AF speech by gripping Silver’s jaw with both of his hands and bringing them together in a deep, passionate kiss. S score if there ever was one. Great job, Sonic. Thank you, Sonic, sometimes I even impress myself. Now just don’t give Dr. Prower any reason to check the security cameras. Oh shit!

When they parted, Silver giggled and blushed while Sonic scanned to the upper corners of the lab and found the red light of a recording camera. Fuck! Was this a bad idea? This is starting to look like a bad idea.

“I love a man in a uniform.” Silver traced the edges of Sonic’s unbuttoned lab coat with his fingers. However, counterpoint, Silver is hotter than the god damned sun. The lab technician played with the paralegal’s tie, pulling it free of his adorable little vest (holy shit).

“Do you like bowties?” Sonic asked completely not out of left field. He operated on multiple levels simultaneously. 4-D chess- no 5-D!

Silver grinned, pulling back and looking into Sonic’s eyes. “Sure, I guess.” There was a lascivious sparkle in those golden eyes that was very much going to get them both in trouble. “But are you really telling me that you told me a whole story about how you single handedly beat the crap out of two big Alphas to protect your friend, and it wasn’t a ploy to get me worked up?” Silver looked at Sonic with the most beautiful bedroom eyes he’d ever seen – which, to be clear, he hadn’t really seen many, b-but that’s besides the point, which is that Silver is beautiful and handsome and amazing and…crap, what had he been thinking about?

“Well, shit, when you put that way…” Sonic smirked. Fuck it. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Sounds like you caught me.” He’s a genius. He’s an idiot. He needs to cut this shit out right now before they both get in super, major, terrible trouble. But Silver’s hands were sliding between his coat and hoodie and around to thread through his back quills and, fuck it, we ballin’-

Nope.

Executive functions checking in.

Time to override this complete and utter lapse in judgement.

“Silver, should we really be…” Sonic offered as one last ditch effort to not get totally fired as Silver began to kiss along the nape of his neck. He shivered and the exodus of blood from his brain to between his thighs increased ten-fold. You’re going to get caught and get both of you fired, Sonic. Yeah, okay, I hear you, but also…sex? Fuck. Exactly.

“It’s exciting, don’t you think? Doing something we’re really not supposed to do here?” Silver’s eyes twinkled. “Maybe you’ll like it.”

The amount of lab SOPs Sonic was already in flagrant violation of was already legion. What’s a few dozen more? “Oh, no bones about that.” He pushed Silver back gently, making direct eye contact. “But will you? Are you okay taking the risk we get caught?”

“I dunno!” Silver grinned. So. Fucking. Cute. “It’s an experiment.” They were doomed the moment Sonic became the most responsible party.

“Well, this is a laboratory.” Sonic mused performatively.

“Let’s conduct some science.” Silver grinned like some sort of adorable incubus. “Let’s see how long you can last.” Oh, ho. A challenge, was it? Sonic was a special kind of fucked.

“God damn it, why are you so hot?”

Silver’s grin grew sharper and he sank to his knees, trailing his hands down Sonic’s torso to his belt. Fiddling the tricky thing undone, Silver’s nimble fingers unzipped Sonic’s jeans and traced along his pouch.

Sonic released a shuddering gasp. Was this a kink? This was a kink, right? Like, public sex and role play, maybe? Look at them, trying new things. Also, danger sex. Was that a kink, too? Probably. Totally not just flagrant risk-seeking behavior. Totally a kink thing.

One tiny shred of self-preservation remained. He grasped Silver’s hands. The younger man looked up with a slightly disappointed look that evaporated as he realized Sonic was repositioning him rather than stopping him altogether.

Sonic maneuvered the lovely, eager hedgehog into the knee space alcove in the lab bench, effectively hiding him from view. Then, the lab tech rolled his stool over and worked the pedals to lower it, giving Silver, from his crouched position, easy access to Sonic’s taunt pouch. Above board, Sonic pulled over his lab notebook and took up his pen. If anyone looked through the window set in the door to the lab, all they’d see was Sonic reviewing his notes.

Genius. Sonic was a genius. A horny, stupid genius.

He dispensed readily into Silver’s hand and Sonic about bit his tongue off with the sudden surge of incredible heat enveloping his cock. His neoprene gloved fingers squeaked as they drug against the bench top.

Hell.

Sonic’s going to hell.

Oh, well.

He’ll have fun on the way down.

Silver set a…unique rhythm. He maintained a steady pace for about fifteen seconds before faltering and sucking asynchronously for another fifteen or so seconds. Then he picked up a completely different tempo.

The effect on Sonic was mixed. Periods of building pressure and pleasure shot all to hell by a round of chaos. Heaven and hell mixed together into one edging experience that was making sweat form on his brow.

Sonic had no idea if he was ten minutes or ten seconds from nutting in the most perfect contrapasso constructed personally for his dumb ass by Satan himself.

He had to put a stop to this. He had the power. He had the obligation as the elder statesman.

Sonic rolled his chair back, unsheathing himself from Silver’s warm, hot, eager, hot, sucking, hot, amazing, hot mouth. Silver whined and broke Sonic’s fucking heart, but it had to be done. It simply had to be done. “Am I not doing well?” Silver’s golden eyes shone from the shadow of the knee space with such vulnerability it made Sonic’s broken heart mend just so it could melt.

“No, babe, you’re doing great. Wonderful. I just, like, had an idea on how you could be just, uh, five percent better.” That seemed to perk Silver up. “Look, you’re a tad…out of sync? Which is cool. Totally normal. BJs are totally a skill and skills take practice, you get me?” Silver nodded. “You could listen to a song to get a good rhythm.”

Sonic used this trick all the time with Amy. Made their activities a little like a dance…but also ruined a few of his favorite song for him over the years. Damn…maybe he should think about trying that therapy stuff. Hold up, he’s getting distracted-

“Oh, that might work.”

Sonic fished in the pocket of his lab coat for his wireless ear buds. Handing them to Silver, he swhip-swiped his phone to create a playlist of songs with increasing tempo. Starting with a little andante to set the mood and ramping up to allegro over the course of a few songs. He’d try to his best to last that long.

Silver placed the buds into his ears and crawled back into the knee space. Sonic hit play and squeaked as Silver retook him into his mouth.

Nirvana. God damned Cloud 9. All the euphemisms and overdone phrases and all that other shit that Sonic can’t really think of right now because Silver was sucking his brains out through his cock.

Suddenly the door to the lab burst open and Sonic’s soul just about fled his damn body.

Dr. Prower entered the lab, white coat billowing and immaculately groomed tails undulating as opposing waveforms behind him. Don’t nut. Luckily, he didn’t immediately spot Sonic as he cast his gaze around the lab space, giving Sonic a fraction of a second to reel his soul back in and school his expression. Silver, earpods in, appeared to not have noticed the new entry.

“Good morning, Dr. Prower!” Sonic said too loudly, his fingers pressing into the unyielding stainless steel of the benchtop.

“Good morning, Sonic.” He briefly scanned the lab. Don’t nut “Where is that Silver fellow? I thought he was in here with you.”

“Bathroom.” Sonic grunted, smothering a moan by gritting his teeth and smiling. Don’t nut. The brilliant doctor hummed noncommittally, like he really wasn’t that interested in Silver’s whereabouts, thank god!

Dr. Prower was a fox literally and metaphorically. Piercing blue eyes, silky golden fur that rose up such a perfect cowlick that, if Sonic didn’t know any better (and he did, sadly), he’d have thought it intentional vanity.

And – get this – the guy had two tails. Both were fucking beautiful appendages. Thick, blazing blond fur ending in snow white tips. Just criminally gorgeous. Of all the physical deformities to have, Dr. Prower struck gold.

The man was brilliant. Don’t nut. Flat out, no bullshit, no citation needed, fucking insanely smart. His memory was photographic and he could do math in his head like some sort of autistic savant. He had enough PhDs to use some as toilet paper. The top of several fields.

And for some reason that Sonic hadn’t yet been able to ascertain, Dr. Prower liked him. Not in, like, any weird way, just, like, well, not as a father-son kinda way either…Shit, it’s hard to explain is the point. They were friends? No, not that either, though Dr. Prower always invited Sonic to tag along to various conferences and shindigs he was invited to professionally. Half the time it seemed just to use Sonic as an alcohol sponge because, holy crap, corporate suits loved to drown academics in booze, especially the hedge fund fuckos looking for black edge.

Dr. Prower also seemed to be immune to anything resembling romance. Sonic had seen every gender under the sun take a pass at the man and get zero interest. Hell, negative interest. The fox was happily married to his work and devotedly monogamous.

Sonic, unfortunately, couldn’t afford to be monogamous with his attention at the moment, sordidly cheating on both his boss and boyfriend simultaneously. Don’t nut. He could only hope neither party noticed the other. Don’t fucking nut.

So far, Dr. Prower seemed none the wiser. “I just learned Dr. Hunter Starline will be attending the awards ceremony. Starline Pharma is a major sponsor for the event!” His tails thrashed, fur poofed to full mast.

Don’t nut. “O-Oh, that’s…b-bad?” Fuck it was hard to keep it together when Silver was chowing down on his meat like it was the first meal he’d had in days. But Sonic would! He had to! For both their job’s sake!

The earpods were proving a mixed blessing. On one hand, Silver couldn’t hear Dr. Prower, but on the other, Sonic was so close to spewing hot cum down the younger man’s throat it wasn’t funny, like at all.

Dr. Prower began to pace but stayed on the other side of the bench. Clearly god had not decided to get it over with and smite Sonic where he stood. No, he’d been committed to relentless hurricane in the second ring of hell. Cursed to edge to protect both of their jobs. Dr. Prower was very chill, but not infinitely so. Silver popping out from under the bench with Sonic’s cum on his chin would not go down well.

“Bad? No, nothing so certain as that.” Too many words. Can’t parse.

Don’t nut. “Sh-should I not go?” Fucking words, how do they work?

“Don’t be ridiculous. If anything, you must attend now to show we won’t be bullied. It was your bench work that created the basis for the KLS report. Which may already be in circulation by the awards ceremony, now that I think about it.” Sonic was pretty sure he wasn’t catching everything Dr. Prower was pitching. But Silver was gonna catch everything Sonic was pitching. Okay, credit where credit is due. That was a good one, Sonic. Thank you, So-

He bit down on his tongue hard as Silver picked up the pace. His determination was laudable, but also, holy shitting fucking agggggh!

“In fact~~, I am determined~~ to release the report no matter what the legal team at KLS says. The public needs to know now that we’ve proven significant risk. A Class I recall needs to be issued!” The doctor’s tails whipped back and forth, leaving a blazing wake behind him as he paced.

Sonic really wished he had a few braincells free to analyze the words coming out of Dr. Prower’s mouth because he had a feeling they were important. Unfortunately, it was all hands on deck to prevent busting into the hot, sucking maw of his beautiful boyfriend. Priorities, right?

“I’ll be able to confront Dr. Starline personally at the awards ceremony. How could he allow such a massive mistake to happen? The evidence has mounted to the point that I must reject the null hypothesis. The Starline product is, within a statistically relevant amount of certainty, to be inferior to the KLA product in assuaging the symptoms of Omega heats.”

“Further!” Dr. Prower raised his pointer finger, but he continued to pace, the audience for his oration (Sonic) largely ignored, thank god. “Evidence suggests that the Starline product may, in fact, be exacerbating symptoms! Anything with a pulmonary component should have additional scrutiny. There is increased risk of atrial fibrillation or even ventricular tachycardia!”

That didn’t sound great. Bad even. Bad bad bad urk! Sonic stopped breathing to keep from making any uncouth noises. His head was already swimming, so that was fine. He’d start anaerobically respirating like the lesser lifeform he was.

“The sooner Starline’s mistake is reported to the City Health Department~~, the better. I have no idea how this passed through regulatory~~ testing!” Don’t you dare nut. You made it this far, don’t fuck up now.

Sonic’s eyes wandered down to the colorful box of Starline heat suppressants sitting on the bench, already half-empty from using samples for testing. Amy took these every day. Fuck, there was two and two to put together here, he just needed-!

The thought of Amy kicked his dick into action mode and the sudden hardness encouraged Silver to go fucking ham. Sonic’s teeth gritting behind his plastered-on smile hurt like hell. Lean into the pain, Sonic. You totally got this, man.

Hell. He was in hell. He couldn’t think, that’s for damn sure, and every bit of his will was bent against coming and potentially exposing his and Silver’s depravity. At least Dr. Prower was rubber ducking him and didn’t actually need Sonic to participate.

“I understand KLS’s hesitancy. They lost the contract to Starline, so they could be accused of being biased. And the NHS has egg on its for allowing the Starline product into the Public Insurance program. Getting them to initiate the Class I recall might be tricky. I know KLS is assembling information on potential cases of harm in the populace, but that takes time!” Dr. Prower released an exasperated sound. “I want to release our findings, but without the proper backing, the results could be easily drowned!”

He paused and looked at Sonic, indicating it was the hedgehog’s turn of input. Fuck. He had to say something. “Y-you should follow your heart, d-dude.” Sonic gave his boss a thumbs up. He did not know what question he was answering.

Dr. Prower seemed to consider his words carefully. “You’re right. The potential lives saved outweighs any potential red-tape concerns. Thank you for your input.” For perhaps the first time, Dr. Prower looked at Sonic directly. His brow pinched. “Sonic, are you well? You’re quite flushed.”

“You k-know what?” Hold it together, you’re doing great. “Yeah, Dr. Prower, I t-think I’ve got a bit of a c-cold coming on.”

Dr. Prower’s face crumpled in concern. “Well, head on home then and get some rest. I don’t want to see you until you’re back to full health.”

“Sure thing, sir.” Sonic saluted.

Dr. Prower nodded and left without ceremony. Sonic slammed a hand over his mouth as he nutted the hardest he’d ever in his life. He probably sprained his vas deferens.

Silver downed it all like a champ and Sonic immediately descended from the weirdest orgasm into a fuck-me-gently-with-chainsaw migraine. Straight to horny jail for him.

Silver crawled from the knee space and stood, taking like fifty-cents of Kimwipes to dab his chin. “Wow! You’ve gotten way better at lasting!”

Sonic chuckled and clumsily belted his pants. “Thanks. I’m just awesome like that, I guess. C-can’t pass up a challenge to save my life.” No pink slips today! The day is saved by Sonic Hedgehog!