Party Fowl

The lowball shattered under the pressure of Shadow’s grip, spraying him with top shelf liquor and glass shards. “Fuck me!” Shadow hissed as searing hot pain erupted from the sensitive pads of his fingers, demanding his attention. And good thing too, because Shadow was literally five second away from ripping out that quokka’s goddamned throat with his teeth!

“Holy shit!” Breezie exclaimed. “What the actual fuck, Shadow?” She gaped down at the shattered remains of his drink seeping into the expensive rug underneath them. “Shit! You’re bleeding!” She grabbed his forearm and examined the damage. Shadow grunted as the minor movement of his hand aggravated the injury. “Don’t just stand there gawking!” Breezie snapped at the collection of people they’d been talking to. “Go get a first aid kit and call a fucking paramedic!” People scattered.

“I’m fine.” Shadow tried to pull away, and his head swiveled, desperately scanning the packed room for a splash of pink. The pain was irrelevant. He was wasting time! Amy was here. This was the moment for which he’d been waiting. Yes, she was with another man, but that problem was wholly extinguishable.

The shards of the glass had ripped right through his fine leather gloves, lacerating his hand deeply. Blood soaked the torn material and started running down his forearm, dripping large crimson drops onto the floor. Every twitch of his fingers sent new spears of pain to pierce him. Clearly, glass slivers remained embedded in his flesh.

The pain was centering. It was a weapon to use against the urges threatening to overcome him. The blinding drive to claim what was his by any means. The more violent, the better, even! Let everyone see and know that he was not one to be fucked with! Breathe. He needed to breathe. Think clearly. Make responsible decisions.

Shadow’s heartrate elevated, and adrenaline brought all his systems into high alert. Shit, he was a little too inebriated. His self-control was already missing a few teeth. Not the best combination.

Think! Why was Amy even here? Being led through the room by Odyssey Moon, of all people? Utterly ridiculous. Incomprehensible. Stop. Never mind that. The past was unimportant. He needed to focus on the here and now. He needed to be tearing this fucking place apart looking for AMY!

Shadow flexed his fingers, sending fresh, calming pain jolting up his arm, making his breath catch. Countless eyes were on him after his bullshit with the lowball glass, but fuck them all, they didn’t matter. All that mattered was Amy and…

Shadow’s chest tightened. The sadness in her eyes when Breezie laid her hand on him ripped him to worthless shreds. How could he have been so foolish as to inspire sadness in Amy? What kind of brutish Alpha was he to allow any unhappiness to befall his Omega? His world came apart at the seams and was resewn in an instant into one whose whole purpose was to see Amy smile.

Absently, Shadow was aware that Breezie was leading him away to let the staff clean his mess. The dark hedgehog allowed himself to be moved, but only because it gave him means to expand his search for Amy. His eyes darted frantically into every nook and cranny of the expansive, sparsely furnished apartment. His lungs worked like billows, bringing in large gasps of air through his nose, his brain sorting the scents trying to isolate the only important ones.

Strawberries and vanilla.

He’d been smelling it all night. Shadow had dismissed the haunting scents as an illusion. Too many people crammed so closely were bound to create a unique bouquet. There was no universe in which Amy could actually be here.

But, dear god, had he been WRONG!

Shadow had growled as Odyssey’s black-clad private security shoved him aside and he paid the pop star even less attention, until he caught the strongest waft yet. Strawberries and vanilla. Right under his nose. His body reacted before he even realized what was happening. His mouth watered, his eyes dilated, and his pouch grew tight. Whatever Breezie was saying to her circle of sycophants was instantly forgotten as Shadow pivoted on his heel.

There she was.

Glowing radiantly in a white and yellow dress, Amy seemed lost. Of course she was lost, she didn’t know where he was. Her shoulders…her bare shoulders free in the air, taunting him, enticing him, poisoning him with insolent desire. He swallowed, but his mouth filled again, his enzymes ready to react with hers. Shadow’s face flushed and heat gathered in his core. The desire to dart forth and sink his fangs into her unprotect gland seized him with such strength and suddenness that he’d taken a step towards her.

Serendipity, you clever bitch. Shadow was unmade in an instant.

Amy here, the primal side of him cheered. When he was with Breezie, his rational mind realized. Fuuuuuuuck.

Some reasonable part of his brain was yelling for him to hide, to not let Amy see him, that this was not the right time. But that part was incapable of convincing the parts that had him rooted in place, transfixed. He was either moving towards Amy or not at all.

Then Amy turned around. Her eyes met Shadow’s. She recognized him! She smiled at him! All the doubt that he’d been harboring vanished. A blissful lightness permeated his whole being. A singing resonance cutting through the noise that had been his entire existence up until now. She was the salve to the wound he’d been born with.

Amy was the most beautiful thing Shadow had ever seen. Soft and fragile and so pure that it irritated him that she was here, surrounded by so much risk. He had to wrap her in his arms and fly her far, far away from here and anyone or thing that could possibly harm her. Seal her away from the jealous world where she’d only be for him.

Shadow had panted, smiling like a fool. He was coming for her. She understood and wanted him to. Everything was right with the universe. Life suddenly made sense. Their reunion was everything he dreamed it to be and so much more. A blissful completeness just a few paces away.

Breezie had reached forward, trying to retrieve his attention, and all peace and love in the world shattered. Her fingers had felt like knives digging into his soul and for that one second, Shadow had perceived her to be his enemy. He roughly removed the offending digits, but the damage was done.

The anguish on Amy’s face destroyed him.

No! No no no no no! He shook his head. Amy had to understand it wasn’t real! Breezie meant nothing to him, that this was just a farce, a means to an end. Shadow only had, would only ever have eyes for Amy. She had his heart and soul already and he wanted to give her everything else. Please, he begged, please believe me!

Shadow had to move now. Go to her, explain, fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness, declare for the world to hear all those sweeping feelings in his heart-

Who the fuck was that?

Some disgusting mongrel had approached his angel, the future mother of his children, with a disrespectful familiarity. How fucking dare he talk to what was Shadow’s? He tensed, preparing for the violence to follow. A long time had passed, but his body remembered how to deliver what he was requesting of it. It was willing, was eager to provide whatever it took to press Amy into it.

The intruder was a miniscule red quokka. Unimposing and unworthy of Amy’s attention. If the quokka capitulated fast, he might be able to walk out of here under his own power. If not? Well, Shadow was never one to shy away from doing what was necessary.

What he was not prepared for, however, was the look of fear and hurt on Amy’s face. W-what? She couldn’t be afraid of Shadow! He was here! He was going to kill that pest and rescue her from this terrible place and fill her up so fast her head would spin.

What was he thinking? The rational part of him broke through the instinctual cloud of lust and anger. Mère de dieu. What was he thinking? The tension in his body grew, tighter and tighter. His glass may have given off a tiny cracking noise. The urge to move and do something he would objectively regret, that would have serious, literal consequences, warred with his desperate need to calm the fuck down!

Shadow lost sight of Amy.

There was no time for rationality when he was losing his Omega again. She was afraid, she needed him, and he needed to find her. This was an emergency. “What has gotten into you?” Breezie’s irritation was hemmed with concern. Precious seconds passed. There was no telling what that fucker was going to do to Amy in the meantime. He was wasting time!

There she was! Through the writhing mass of irrelevant flesh, Amy’s brightness shone through. There she was and-

The quokka touched her.

Shadow saw red.

The glass shattered in his hand and Breezie shrieked. It had been a haze of pain since.

Between Breezie trying to pull him away and the stabbing agony in his hand, Shadow lost track of Amy again. He huffed the air, desperately sucking in the remnants of her remaining in the air.

“What has gotten into you?” Breezie placed herself in front of him, “Why aren’t you saying anything?” He didn’t pay her any mind. Shadow much more important things to worry about. “Look at me!” She shouted. Shadow tried. Breezie’s face was a muted blur, still clearer than anyone else, but still information his instincts kept from him.

Where was Amy? No one else mattered right then. Only Amy. As if Amy was the only thing that had ever mattered to him. As if Amy was the only thing that would ever matter to him. His world had narrowed to a single point. His entire life spiraled around it.

Someone tried to press a towel into his injured hand and Shadow snarled, causing the ring of worried onlookers around him to step back. This was a really bad look, some insignificant part of his mind realized. He swallowed and forced his face to relax. “Excuse me.” Shadow managed to say gruffly, then shouldered his way free of Breezie and whoever else had gathered to tend to his hand.

Pink. Yellow. White. Find her! Find her!

The pain was intensifying the longer he ignored it, spare bits of glass digging deeper and deeper. His shirt and trousers were deeply stained with his blood and he was leaving a trail on the ground no doubt. Nicole would grimace at that bill, but she’d pay it nonetheless. The amount of trouble that could be washed away with money was staggering.

He caught a flash of her across the room, moving quickly towards the foyer and elevator. His heart stuttered. Where was she going? She knew he was coming for her. She was going to stay put so he could explain. Which meant the pre-expired quokka was taking her away from him! Shadow’s muzzle wrinkled and his lips curled to reveal his fangs. He would see about that.

Arriving at the elevator entryway, Shadow found it Amy-free. He slammed his good hand against the call button. The display indicated that it was already rising. Amy hadn’t left via the lift. “Can I get your coat- S-sir, you’re bleeding!” The coat check attendant, a colorful canary, blanched at his dripping wound.

“Where are the stairs?” Shadow’s tone could have been much more congenial. The canary pointed to a small door to the side, her face a startled mask.

Shadow barreled through the door and took a deep breath. Amy’s scent, a luscious mix that quickened him further, overpowered the sterile concrete of the emergency stairwell. What’s more, Shadow got a breath of the dead man attempting to steal her from him. He snarled. An Alpha. Not a rival, just roadkill in his path.

He launched himself down the flights of stairs with reckless abandon. Shadow’s left hand was the one he’d injured, so he had nothing to hold the handrail with. Losing his footing would be a painful mistake. Above the sound of his decent and his own labored breathing, he heard his quarry.

“Amy, stop! What’s going on?” The thief’s voice was weak, unassuming. Whole, utterly inferior! Shadow hissed.

Amy responded, breathlessly, and Shadow’s perked to attention, his body freezing so that no sound, not even his heartbeat, would compete with the sound of her voice. “He’s going to kill you!”

Shadow’s blood ran cold. Amy…Amy was afraid of him.

He felt his Voice gathering in the back of his throat. Shadow could halt this pursuit with a single word. A single command would freeze Amy in her tracks while he delt with the interloper. Then Shadow could scoop her up and abscond to the rest of their lives. He’d have years to explain himself. She’d understand. She would!

Shadow took a deep breath. One word. He spoke.

What came out was a shuddering whine as his throat clenched painfully. Shadow froze. His uninjured hand flew to his mouth and he hunched over in horror. Tears pricked at the edges of his pinched eyes. How could he do that to Amy? How could have been so close to- to- to-!? Exerting his Alpha authority on her, compelling her compliance. Disgusting. He was disgusting. He’d be no better than-

Shadow gasped, realizing he’d stopped breathing. This was wrong! So very wrong, every bit of it. He should never have come to this party, never should have made the deal with Breezie, never should have given into his mother’s desires, never should have let his grip on his company slip. Failure after failure, compounding.

He should turn around. Leave Amy alone. Accept loneliness as penance.

But Shadow couldn't, not when she was so close. He needed her. Shadow could no easier turn around than he could make the sun revolve around the earth. He had to- he had to do something, anything!

Shadow leaned over the staircase railing, looking down the long stair lined shaft. Below he could see gloved hands sliding along the railing, providing balance to support their owner’s flight.

Shadow took a deep breath. One word. He spoke.

“Amy!” He called down the shaft. Shadow didn’t try to school his voice. It came out raw and full of all the emotions waging war inside him. A pure call, unadulterated and raw.

Then he waited. Silence filled the stairwell marred only by the pounding of blood in his ears. Every millisecond was abject hell. But then-!

“Shadow?” Music. Amy knew his name. There was light in the world.

“Please, Amy! Please talk to me!” Shadow barely recognized his own voice, struck through as it was with longing, guilt, fading anger, and sadness. He realized his hands were trembling. The blood loss might be becoming an issue.

When a dismissal wasn’t immediate, Shadow began descending again. He took the steps quickly, his urgency to get within sight of her overpowering his caution. He couldn’t risk giving her a second extra to change her mind. Around and around the shaft he went. Shadow did not count the landings nor steps, his mind dominated by a singular thought: He had to get to Amy.

“You’re really upsetting her, mister!” The quokka’s voice echoed up to Shadow. “W-why don’t stop and take a breath?” Shadow almost snarled a response to the other Alpha’s voice. Amy wouldn’t be upset if that quokka wasn’t standing in his way. Stop. No. She was upset with Shadow. Shadow tried to force back the venom and hatred urging him towards violence again. He was just going to talk to Amy. That other Alpha would be there and that was*…acceptable.*

Shadow hit a landing and there she was! His breath caught.

Even in the sickly light of the stairwell, Amy was resplendent, her light-colored dress accenting her perfection. Face flush and chest heaving, the distress apparent on her face cowed Shadow’s anger even further, allowed heavy shame to pour into his heart. She clutched the handrail with both hands, gloves pulled taunt. “Amy.” Her name escaped his lips softly.

“Woah, slow down, please!” The rusty red quokka smelled of fear and confusion, but there was that natural undertone of Alpha musk, so Shadow had a really, fucking hard time giving a shit about his distress when the other male was so close to that which belonged to Shadow Amy.

The precorpse interloper stood between Shadow and Amy, his arms spread as if that would do anything to keep the hedgehogs separated. The dark hedgehog’s quill flared, further accentuating the size difference between him and the measly interloper. “You would do well to leave.” He hissed a perfectly reasonable warning. “I mean to speak with Amy alone.” Shadow glared down, fangs bared.

The air was thick with scents. Amy’s distress was abundantly clear, but below it was the irresistibly sweet tang her slick, betraying her true desires. The quokka’s was mild, but flush with agitation and a ridiculous urge to protect. Nether held a candle to Shadow’s that billowed through the slate air, dark and possessive. Amy cringed, her ears struggling to resist pinning back fully, but she also bit her lip.

To the quokka’s credit, he didn’t immediately puddle under Shadow’s imposing presence. “I-I don’t think this is a great time for that. Amy’s really upset. I don’t know who you are to her-“ Her Alpha “but I think you should leave.”

His Omega wouldn’t be upset for long. Shadow was here to take care of her, to take her far away from this dingy shaft and this inadequate, sniveling pretender of an Alpha. Then he’d slam her down and claim her, fully and completely, breeding her so full of his pup she could barely walk under the weight of his litter. Shadow clenched his injured hand to stop a shudder from running down his spine. “I don’t care what you think.”

Amy gasped. “You’re bleeding!” The concern and horror in her voice made his heart swell with affection. She was worried about him! He chanced a look at his hand. It was a horror show. Glove shredded, flesh mangled, blood still welling thanks to the adrenaline of the chase. He really seemed to have it out for his limbs recently.

“It’s nothing.” Shadow shook his head, desperate to reassure her and banish her discomfort. “I can barely feel it.” Which was true. There were so many chemicals racing through his system it was lucky he could form words let alone care for himself at all when Amy needed him.

The quokka’s brow knitted pathetically. “Mister, I could call EMS for you. You’re clearly not thinking straight.”

“Your concern is noted.” Shadow growled. “Now step away from her. Last warning.” This Alpha was clearly unworthy of Amy. Shadow could smell his inferiority in the violent mix of pheromones competing in the air. His own scent smothered the quokka’s and Amy should be able to tell as well. There was no choice here. Shadow would have her. The only question that remained was how many pieces the quokka would be in at the end.

Shadow took a step closer.

“Not like this.” Amy’s words were almost imperceptibly quiet and came out as a layered whine, but there was invisible power laced throughout. Shadow froze, his attention rushing to her. The quokka blurred at the edge his vision, still present as a (minor) threat, but a faceless one. All that mattered in the world was Amy. Her wants, her needs, her safety. He couldn’t look away from her if he tried.

Amy shook her head. “Not like this, Shadow.” Her face was sad in ways that gripped his heart so tightly blood wept from between the binds. He was making her feel this way. He was a bad Alpha. Disgusting, impatient, violent, unworthy, erratic, unwanted. Shadow was failing Amy, failing her in ways he could never fix if he pressed forward.

Shadow swallowed thickly. “As you wish.” He said, taking a step back. It was agony to retreat. His body screamed at him, much of his mind thrashed in revolt, but he persevered. Shadow backed down.

The relief in Amy’s eyes was reward enough. She released a haggard, gasping breath. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she maintained eye contact with him, a war mirroring his own waging deep in the emerald fields of her eyes. Enough pain and doubt that Shadow could fool himself into believe that she wanted him like he wanted her.

But not like this. Not like a hunter stalking prey. Not like a raptor claiming a victim.

Numbly, Shadow turned away and climbed the stairs. He willed himself not to hear Amy’s sobs or the sound of the pair continuing to descend. Not like this. He replayed the memory of her voice like a mantra. Not like this. Every bit of Amy’s distress was a knife cutting through him, every step away from her was another piece of himself crumbling away.

He had not paid any attention to how many flights he’d descended in his haste. Turns out it was quite a few. His hand throbbed with his heartbeat and Shadow was growing increasingly lightheaded as he trudged back up to the top of the high-rise. Partially up, his foot pressed into something softer than poured concrete.

Shadow looked down. A small pile of cream-colored fabric lay under his shoe, nearly blending in with the steps in the sickly warm light of the shaft. He bent down and picked it up with his good hand. Amy’s scent wafted off the garment and embraced him. Shadow’s breath hitched and he forced back a roll of emotion. She must have dropped the garment as she fled from him. Shadow clutched it to his chest and took a deep breath. He could pretend that she was there with him, even if just for a moment.

-

“What kind of place has shitty glassware like that? Look at his hand! Cut to fucking shreds!” Breezie hissed, her nose in the air, “I should sue you and your parent company’s asses into oblivion!” She unloaded her fury onto the venue manager, a raccoon, who meekly took her abuse with a pale face. The master suite of the apartment played host to Breezie’s distaste and the treatment of Shadow’s wound(s).

“I’m not going to sue.” Shadow growled, his teeth clenched against the pain of the paramedic, a green parrot, extracting another sliver of glass from his hand. Adrenaline gone, his neglected injury hurt like a motherfucker. His good hand maintained a death grip on Amy’s cardigan. Regretfully, some of his blood had already gotten onto it and would remain forever. Cleaning the article properly would remove her bittersweet scent.

“Who the hell asked you?!” Breezie snapped at him, her ear tilting back aggressively. Shadow felt nothing. “I should sue you both for emotional damages!”

“But think of the clicks.” Shadow said dryly. The paramedic seemed satisfied that all the glass had been removed and was applying liberal amounts of disinfecting ointment. Shadow knew he should be mortified that so many people were getting a full view of his ungloved hand, but he wasn’t. He didn’t feel much of anything…Other than pain…And heartache. “Think of the engagement.”

Breezie laughed. There was genuine mirth involved, but enough complexity framed the laugh that everyone, save for Shadow, in the room held their breath. No one wanted to catch her attention lest she pour molten ire upon them. “I can’t tell if you’re mocking me and, frankly, I don’t care.” She placed her hands on her hips. “Everyone out.” She commanded.

The staff for the venue eagerly took the dismissal, rushing to the door so quickly a pair of them got caught trying to squeeze through the door at once. The paramedic working on Shadow did not budge. Brave fellow. The parrot began gingerly wrapping Shadow’s hand in thick gauze.

“I said out.” Breezie glared at the paramedic. Shadow resisted the urge to snort at her fury. He wanted to be pissed at Breezie, to hold her accountable for his miserable evening, but that would be staggeringly unfair. Shadow had, as per usual, done this to himself.

The parrot didn’t even look up from his work. “I’m not finished, ma’am.”

“It’s okay,” Shadow told the parrot, sensing Breezie was about to get offensively unreasonable, “I can finish this myself.”

“Sir…” The paramedic looked uncertain. “Are you sure? If this isn’t done correctly, you could risk infection.”

“You can say I refused treatment if it helps.” Shadow offered. “Thank you.”

The paramedic frowned but collected his supplies swiftly and left.

Finally, the pair alone, silence grew. Breezie’s dark eyes trailed all over him, noting his ruined clothes and the light-colored cloth he was grasping so tightly. “So,” She said finally, “what do you have to say for yourself?”

“Off the record?”

“Fuck you. Spill.”

Shadow looked at the floor, uncertain how to proceed. His body had long since stopped flooding him with the potent cocktail of chemicals that had him frothing at the mouth. Now he felt a rough sense of withdrawal, a cold emptiness in his chest in the place permanently reserved for Amy. But how could he explain any of that to Breezie?

“I’m breaking our contract.” He stated, bracing himself for her outburst. Slowly he wound the gauze around his hand expertly. He’d treated his recent bite wound himself, so his old field skills weren’t completely dusty.

“Is that so.” Breezie arched a brow. “May I know the circumstances?”

Shadow swallowed. Huh…he’d assumed she was going to scream at him and storm out. Fuck, now he had to articulate a response that didn’t sound completely deranged. “I didn’t know she was going to be here, and you being with me hurt her and…I can’t risk that ever happening again.”

Breezie shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her expertly toned hips jutting out and making her designer slacks sway. “Look, I love the pronoun game as much as the next bitch, but you’re going to have to do better than that. ‘Her’ who?”

He was certain that Breezie would find out, but Shadow refused to expose Amy’s name to her anyway. “She’s…” His Omega? His obsession? His soulmate? Shadow grit his teeth.

“The one you can’t be with?” Breezie finished for him. He looked away, but his silence was confirmation enough. “Shadow,” Her tone turned mocking, “I really thought that this would be obvious, but you were supposed to tell your secret someone about our arrangement so they, you know, don’t get all heartbroken and shit. That’s the whole point of this, to be a smokescreen.”

“I couldn’t.” The admission slipped out as a whisper.

Breezie’s face screwed up in anger, a cutting remark prepared to take wing from her lips. But then the fury faded, settling down into annoyance then descending into what could be described as resignation and pity. “Fine.” She said. “Consider our deal null and void.”

Shadow looked up at her, incredulous that things could be over so cleanly. Breezie was looking at the blood stained cardigan in his hands. “Just like that?” He asked.

“I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I did agree to no strings attached.” Breezie sauntered past him to lean on a credenza. “I thought we could have more fun before it all inevitably imploded, but it takes two to tango.” She sighed and tossed her quills. “It was nice, having someone to talk to that wasn’t obviously out for my snatch or cash. Or so well bred they could barely be considered a person anymore.” She shrugged. “And you can’t always get what you want.”

“Few truer words have ever been spoken.” Shadow sighed, “Still, I am sorry.”

“You can owe me one, if it makes you feel any better.” She grinned slyly.

Shadow took the out. “That sounds fair.” He swallowed. “Friends?”

“We’ll see.”

-

Shadow had just reached the lobby, his coat draped over his arm and Amy’s cardigan stuffed into the gift bag he’d been given as a ‘VIP’ attendee of the party, when his phone rang. Exhausted, he nearly didn’t answer, but seeing who was calling, he reticently placed the phone against his ear.

“Sir,” Nicole said urgently. Shadow frowned bracing himself. What the fuck now…“I just received the finalized guestlist for the event you are attending. Miss Rose will be in attendance.”

Shadow blinked, confused. “Miss Rose?”

“Miss Amy Rose, sir.” Nicole’s clarification felt like the knife homemaking in his gut twisted.

Shadow huffed. Poetic. Of course, Amy’s last name would be something like that. Another rose with thorns on which to impale himself. “I am aware.” Shadow said robotically. “She has already departed.”

There was a pause. “I’m sorry, sir.” Shadow frowned at Nicole’s…sympathetic tone? “Would you…” It wasn’t like Nicole to hesitate. “Would you like her cellphone number?”

Shadow tightened his grip on his phone. His injured hand throbbed with a sticky, hot pain. “No.” He squeezed out of his constricted throat. “Not like this.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Please ask for Bruno to come pick me up.”

“Yes, sir. Is there anything else?”

“No. Good night, Nicole.”

“Good night, sir.”

Shadow killed the call and saw an alert on his phone. Eclipse had left him a voicemail. Seeing the timestamp, Shadow hit the playback. Eclipse wouldn’t call him during his family time unless the matter was urgent.

“It’s fucking Robotnik.” His brother’s voice was icy. “He’s behind Fin’s springing.” Shadow’s lip curled. Fuck! “My people are still digging, but this feels targeted, like he’s trying to fuck you in particular. Watch yourself, frère. That old bastard is as devious and spiteful as Father. There’s no way he’d spend this kind of money for nothing, but don’t do anything rash, Shadow. Not until we know the play.”

Shadow closed his eyes as the voicemail ended. Both his largest sins coming together to haunt him at once. There were plenty of cutthroats free in the world. That Gerald Robotnik decided he needed Fin specifically to do his dirty work was proof enough that Shadow himself was in the crosshairs.

Another fucking thing to deal with. He needed to start assembling a defense, but his thoughts just wouldn’t form. He wandered away from the high-rise. The streets were deserted. Shadow entered a well-groomed park and slumped into a bench. The glow of streetlights painted the area in patchy splotches of light.

Shadow ran his good hand through his quills. He took a deep breath. Clarity still refused to entertain him. He decided to stop trying and just let his thoughts roam.

And they beelined straight to Amy.

That she remembered him, and knew his name even, should have overjoyed him. That meant she had been thinking about him, had sought out his identity, and wasn’t violently repulsed by the night they spent together. But…that meant that he had disappointed her expectations of him. He’d frightened her with his unconscionable behavior. He almost missed the unrequited pining. At least then he could still pretend that she’d be happy to see him.

Shadow’s chest seized. Amy wanted him the way he wanted her…but he’d fucked it all up. Amy wanted him(!) but not like this.** He choked back a convulsion as burning heat scorched his eyes and face. He fisted his quills and pulled. Stupid fucking beast. This is what he deserved. He was a fool for thinking there was a happy ending for him.

He gasped as flashes of her face played before him like a flipbook. Surprise, elation, breathless happiness, crushing disappointment, hurt, fear, horror, desperation, soul-crushing sadness. Not like this. She was terrified of him and the thought was deadly poison in his veins. How could he have failed so spectacularly? Shadow had no idea how to even approach a problem like this.

Without her, he knew he would die…but the idea that she was repulsed by him was just as deadly. His heart contorted in pain, he welcomed the chill of the night. It was warm against the icy despair gripping his soul.