Commitment

Silver hit the ground hard, his boots digging into the earth of garden and causing him to stumble. “You tried to kill Shadow in White Space, didn’t you?” He accused Mephiles as he scrambled to maintain his footing.

“Ah.” The creature considered him impassively. “From his highly mentally stable state at the time, I can see why he might have come to that conclusion.”

“Stop lying to me!” Silver snarled, angrily slashing his hand to the side. His power ripped a bush of orange roses from the earth, filling the air with petals. He was sick of this. Sick of Mephiles and his utter apathy! Sick of how detached he felt no matter what Silver did. Sick of wishing he was apathetic as well…

“I am not lying to you, Silver.” Mephiles’ tone seemed…softer? “The Time Eater presented an opportunity to for me to escape Fictive Space after you and your friends erased me from existence.” He explained in an almost pleading way. “Shadow was my closest analogue. I was very clear that I simply wished to exist. He was unsympathetic to my plight. There is no future for you, I believe he said. A poet after my own heart, that one.”

“That means…” Silver’s eyes went wide. “When I patched all the holes made by the Time Eater…”

“Yes. I was deposited safely into Reality alongside all your…companions. Strange occasions, birthdays. Very distracting as well.”

Silver hung his head.

Of course.

It all made sense now.

It was Silver’s fault.

All of this was Silver’s fault.

Mephiles may not be actively seeking the destruction of the world, but when he inevitably acted, all the blame would be Silver’s. He couldn’t win. What did winning even look like? What was Silver even fighting for? How did he know what he was doing was right? His many trips to the past, was he actually making an impact? How did he know he wasn’t making things worse?

“I can’t take this anymore.” Silver shook his head, pinching his eyes closed. “I- I can’t! I can’t I can’t I can’t!”

“Silver.”

He dug his fingers through his quills. “Why do I keep trying to make a difference? When is it going to stop? The moment I drop dead, is the world going to fall apart? Why me? Why do I have this responsibility with no end?”

“Silver!”

His knees buckled and the world spun. He was unmoored and falling, falling forever in a vast nothingness. No home, no future, no past, nothing to tie himself to, to give him direction or orientation.

Firm hands gripped him and held him up as his body went limp. The hold was solid, but not harsh or forceful. Grounding and solid. The one thing that seemed to make sense to Silver. The one thing in his life that was where he expected it.

“Silver, look at me!” The garden boomed with Mephiles’ voice and the roses shook violently.

His lids cracked and beheld the dark form of Mephiles looming over him, crystalline form backlit by the sun and glimmering. He blinked and hot tears broke free to run rampant down his cheeks. “You win.” Silver croaked. “I give up. I can’t do it anymore.”

Mephiles rolled his eyes. “Don’t be foolish. You’ve only just realized you can’t burn for others.”

Silver jerked in his cradling hold, shoving Mephiles away. “So, you want me to burn for you, whatever that means?”

The half-god exited the tangle of red roses Silver had pushed him into. “Only because you won’t burn for yourself.”

Silver narrowed his eyes. Burn for himself? What did that even mean? Be selfish? Not save the world? How could he stop given what was at stake? Even as his loneliness grew and body and psyche gave out, he had to keep fighting for this future. He had to!

Right?

“I have listened to you for years. I know you, Silver. I know why you return here to me again and again, despite your declared hatred.”

“You don’t know me.” The statement sounded weak and false even to Silver’s ears.

“How long until you lose control? How long until you start to resent these insects you protect? One day, if you proceed as you are, your flame, unchecked, unmitigated, uncontrolled will become an inferno that engulfs this entire world.”

Silver’s stomach clenched. “Like Iblis.”

“Yes,” Mephiles answered softly, “like Iblis.”

Silver had already wreaked havoc without even noticing. The constant crisis of the past was consuming him and he, in turn, was starting to consume this green world. The irony would be funny if it didn’t hurt so much.

Suddenly he could see his own future so clearly. Driven by pain and alienation, he’d become one of monsters he’d dedicated his life to defeating. Resentful and consumed with rage, would there be anyone to stop him? Would Shadow be able to put him down like a rabid dog?

And with Silver’s time traveling powers, could he be stopped at all? Or would Silver inevitably become something akin to the Time Eater, floating through the multiverse burning everything he could get his hands on?

Silver shook his head. “I don’t understand why you care!”

“We’re the same, Silver. We’re all that’s left of the world that was and if we stay apart, we’ll be alone forever. So, please, Silver. Be my flame,” Mephiles’ hand pressed against his chest. “and I will be your stone. You are unmoored and lost. Let me give you steady ground.”

Silver hesitated.

“I do not hold any compassion for this world or its inhabitants. I can see nothing with Iblis extinguished. You, however, do see the value in these pathetic creatures and their meaningless struggles. I live in darkness and I am asking you to light my way through eternity.”

The demonic half-god held out his hand to Silver.

They stood for awhile, perfectly still as the blooms around them rustled in the gentle breeze. Silver’s mind should have been racing, but it was blank. The presentation of a choice had fried his synapses. So certain of his fate, of fighting until he decomposed, that the idea of any other option struck Silver dumb. He wanted to scream. To shiver. To vomit. To cry.

Instead, Silver reached forward and took Mephiles’ hand, their fingers entwining.